Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2006): Several seem to link ex's as jsut trivial sexual encounters. Answers are different from answer from the real question that is focused on an intense love relationship.
it can be painful to stay as friends
but also painful to ignore a real love
which is not for the moment but will last a lifetime.
There is no one ansewr to the question - all is relative and depends on different factors.
A
male
reader, ogga +, writes (25 October 2006):
im friends with my last 2 girlfriends one of whcih i am perhaps best mates with now who i can tell anything to and am very comfortable around.
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A
female
reader, DEBS83  +, writes (24 October 2006):
 iam am friends wth only one of um as he is the father of my child i can talk to him about anything and hes always there when i need is advice as for the other exs i hv tryed been friends but there just rub the past in my face
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A
female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (24 October 2006):
 Can be friends for a brief conversation of no more than 20 minutes then we start talking about why we broke up or hurting each other a bit, it's difficult and makes you feel down, sensible, unable to focus on another person properly....
I do not recommend
good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2006): I agree with Lostandalone. I think being friends with an ex lover can and will always interfere with subsequent relationships, that come after that. Because their is basically no emotional disconnest from that former love relationship. A lot of people will state they have no problems with a new gf or bf being friends with an ex lover..but deep inside their heads, it bugs the hell out of them. Why? Because we are all humanly flawed and we aren't hard wired to accept that our new beloved has an ex lover awaiting in the wings. That's bit intimidating and it's pretty tough to establish trust with a new partner, I would think. Out of respect for a new partner, I have never been friends with exes. Some of them asked to remain friends and I said..no. This is just what I have done..not everyone will agree with my opinions-but refusing contact with former exes, sure helped all my new relationships get established and underway..there was no baggage!
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A
female
reader, curious1 +, writes (24 October 2006):
Hey, how are you? Me and my ex were never really friends. We jumped into the relationship so fast that we dident get to know eachother. Now after he broke up with me 5 years ago we get along much better. He calls me and we still have sex. I dont see him as a good friend but I see him as a good booty call.
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A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (24 October 2006):
 I haven't. Never did find them appealing afterwards as a friend. Once the relationship ends so does the friendship for me. Most times its just to hard because trust me one of the two or both have feelings still and when new people show up it gets ugly.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2006): I am freinds with practically every ex of mine. And I don't have any kind of feelings for any one of them. We talk regularly, update one another of the progress in our lives, laugh, take advice...
But yes... I never meet them in person ever. We only talk over phones or exchange emails. We bump into each other at parties... then we exchange pleasantries and try and not stick to each other all the time.
And I find that they are people I can count on and they are there for me if I should need them.
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A
female
reader, camille +, writes (24 October 2006):
 Some people do, but personally no. If I was in a relationship where it was real love and therefore someone's pain at the end, I find it of no interest to stay in contact. Some people stay friends as they're still in love with the person and this way tell themselves it's cool. I just think relationships end for a reason and so with it the friendship. I guess some people are friends first and realise they were better as friends, but in my case that's never happened.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2006): Totally depends on the situation. I'm not in touch with any of my ex's, except for my most recent. We're really good friends, but because of that neither of us have closure so there's still a lot of unhealthy emotion flying around between us. Maybe give it some time and see what happens?
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (24 October 2006):
 Tried it a few times, as have friends of mine. But I've never seen it work out. It just gets too complicated when new partners are on the scene.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2006): I think it depends on how you split up. I'm good friends with an ex because we both decided that's what would be best. I wanted a boyfriend and he just wanted sex but he never cheated on me, he just told me what he wanted. We just decided that because we both wanted different things but got on so well we would stay friends and we're still as close now as we were then
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