A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Guys: are dirty text messages sexy and flirty or skanky and stupid? My boyfriend is coming over Tuesday night and we usually only see each other once per week. Thus, that is our night to be intimate. I want to send him a flirty, verging on dirty, message that morning to pique his interest and get him ready for the night, but I worry that I might sound corny and stupid! I was thinking of saying something along the lines of, "Better plan for a late night. I can't wait to/need to have you inside me." Outside of my horny mind, though, it sounds dumb! Haha I dont want to be vulgar and crass, though. So, guys, what sort of a message would get you going and what would you consider really hot? Thank you for any advice!!!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2011): First thought: Yes. Sexy and stupid both.Second thought: I would have no problem with that whatsoever. Sounds hot. Wish my girlfriend did that!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone! You've all given great advice! My boyfriend and I have been together for about three months and have just became sexually active within the last month. So the relationship is pretty new, but we seriously care about one another. So this isn't just about sex. I love him! But im still learning his sexual style a bit. I think I will tone it down and be suggestive, but not too dirty yet. I will see how he reacts and set the pace from there. I don't want to come on too strong, but trust me, I'm not the town bicycle, lol! Thanks again guys and gal! :-)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2011): I know your question was aimed at the men but I just wanted to say my boyfriend loves getting dirty texts from me. Sometimes when he is working (he works nights) we just start texting sexy messages which get a bit racy and it doesn't end until he is in my bedroom!It only works if both of you are on the same level. You can start naughty and get as dirty as you both like.One word of caution though, you may want to delete the texts from your phone inbox and sent items (just in case).
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2011): To my mind it depends somewhat on how long you've been going out with him and what you think you might want from the relationship. Since you're concerned about his reaction enough to post on this board, my best guess is that you have feelings for him and he's not just a fling to you. I'm probably in the minority on this, but if a woman starts sending me very explicit text messages or emails early in a relationship, I know she's probably done the same things with other guys, and I'm just her latest sexual fling. That's perfectly OK if I view it the same way, but if she's someone I had been looking at as having potential for a long term relationship, my estimation of her potential drops quite a bit if she's highly sexual very early in a relationship. Some guys don't mind it a bit, but I lot of men don't really want a serious relationship with a woman who's the town bicycle.Getting back to your point, if he's a normal guy in your age range, he's already thinking about sex with you anyway, and I doubt you'd need to do much to get him interested. To my mind, you can get his interest with a flirty/suggestive message that's less explicit. It would have all the upside and little of the downside of a more explicit message.Another thing to consider is that you can always ramp up your sexuality down the road if your relationship progresses, you start to learn he really likes it, etc. But, if you're too aggressive early in a relationship before you know what he likes, it's hard to turn it around and say "I'm not really that aggressive, I just don't know what came over me!"That's just my opinion, though. I'm obviously not the same as your boyfriend, I don't know what you're looking for in the relationship, etc.
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A
male
reader, tottenhamhotspur  +, writes (22 August 2011):
I think that everything outside of your 'horny' mind ussually sounds sort of silly. The fact is that if you enjoy sending them- why not go for it? Alot of guys would enjoy it. For me, I might be a bit uncomfortable because I am a prude, but it would still likely do the trick!
I don't really need anything to get me going as long as I have a beautiful woman who cares for me- but try to read into what he likes and play off on that, and work in what you like and want to try, too. It could be a great way to open another dialogue and find out what each other is interested in trying and where they want to create a border. It can be difficult to just ask people straight up so see it as an opportunity.
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A
male
reader, HelpyMcHelperson  +, writes (22 August 2011):
When it comes to sexy texts it really varies from person to person, think about what sort of dirty talk you say to him in person.
As a general rule try making it suggestive without outright saying it, for example here is a slight variation on the text you suggested
"Better plan for a late night ;)"
The more you get used to sending sexy texts the more you'll have a sense of how far you can and should go and what your boyfriend will enjoy.
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