A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been working with a woman for almost three years now. Since I first met her, I have always had a thing for her. I've asked her out on a few occasions, none of which being successful, but we get along well and it's at the point where I could even joke around about taking her out on a date and not feel awkward at all. For the past several months, however, I have been harboring very strong feelings for this woman, and I do believe I have completely fallen for her. She is incredibly beautiful, smart, friendly, and extremely unique, unlike any other girl I've ever met. She is leaving in about a week to work in the city and I will most likely never see her again afterwards. I want to tell her how I feel and just give it one last shot before she goes and I lose my last chance. What should I do!? I am really nervous, and have not actually been in "love" since my high school girlfriend of three years abruptly cheated on me and moved seven states away with her dirtbag boyfriend. Since then, I haven't been able to trust women, or hold on to any sort of real relationship, it always ends with me breaking up with the girl or cheating, or watever. I have never had feelings for anyone, including my ex of 3 years, like I do for this woman, and I just don't know what to do. Please help!
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male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (12 October 2011):
If she is leaving I would do something unique to take her out somewhere special and make her have a good memory then simply tell her that I love her.
Or I would do something simple like writing her a love letter. The letter she can keep when she moves and she can read it and think of me. I think it might be hard to make her fall for you since she has rejected you before but whatever you do, do it with the intention to make HER happy, not you.
A
female
reader, Supacat  +, writes (12 October 2011):
 Has it ever occured to you that maybe you want this woman so much because you know you can't have her? Just going on what you said about your previous relationships (i.e. cheating, etc) it sounds like you have a case of 'grass is greener' syndrome.
If you really do 'love' this woman then I suggest not asking her out again, she's clearly not in a place where she wants to date you and you seem to be immune to her shut downs. But DO ask if you can keep in touch as friends...maybe write regular e-mails or something. Maybe then you can stick around until a time where she might be ready to date you. Timing is everything. However you have to accept the fact that she may never want to date you and will only want to remain friends...make your peace with that or move on and try again with someone new.
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