A
male
age
41-50,
*onty
writes:I am a 24 year old male and have been dating a 21 year old girl for 3 and a half years before she decided to split up with me. The reason being she said I had made no commitment to her in all this time. I tried to explian I am one year off becoming qualified as a quantity surveyor and a house/engagement would kick on from there. However she was having none of it and has consequently ended our relationship. She is actually 21 at the end of the month and I have booked an all inclusive holiday for a week in Alcudia, of which she is aware of.I can't help but think that she is after someone else, because the reasoning behind ending the relationship does not stack up?I have always been faithful to her and always been honest.Has she made up a commitment problem to end the relatioship to try and get with someone else?
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male
reader, Jonty +, writes (15 July 2007):
Jonty is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for your advice. My girlfriend knew the commitment agreement years ago, which is why it makes no sense. I have taken it as she no longer has feelings for me and will move on.
In a years time I will be a qualified Quantity Surveyor, financially secure, 25 year old male, and then may be ready for another relationship with a new girl.
At the moment I am still in the kicked in the stomach stage! 80(
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2007): It sounds like whatever the real reason is, she is not telling it to you. Or it could be that she honestly wanted more of a commitment...but now that she has already told you that, you saying how you actually want it might make her feel like you are just doing it because she told you. Which you probably aren't at all. You could easily have been planning on not making the commitment till you were done with your training, but unless you can find some way to show that to her or explain it to her so that she understands you aren't just trying to appease her, you will probably not get her back. You have to make her understand that you want it and have wanted it. That you truly want her.
So either way, you have to get her to understand things the way you have been seeing them. Either she will get it and come back, or still not listen to reason because she has changed and no longer really wants you. In which case I am sorry :(
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A
female
reader, LynstHolin  +, writes (15 July 2007):
If I'm doing the math right, she was 17 and a half when you started going with her. From 17 to 21, a person can go through a lot of changes. There may be someone else, or she may just feel that you're not the right person for her any more. Or maybe she wants to be 'free' for a while.
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