A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i joined a dating site a few month ago and have been chatting to a guy for a couple of month. everything is going well and we plan on meeting this week. we have since exchanged phone numbers and have emailed each other a couple of pictures and when i asked a question it didnt totally match to the pic he sent it was only 1 month old. it was something minor, so this got me thinking about the tv show catfish and remember them saying about get a photo with the date on like a newspaper. so i asked him for this and he wasnt happy and that he felt like i was treating him like a criminal. i explained i just want to be careful and im happy to do the same. hes not a shy person so that isnt a problem. u just never know who your talking to online and have to be careful. he said he would tell me his facebook (i dont add people i havent met) and send me a pic of his driving licence but i explained anyone can say its their facebook and its their driving licence when in fact it could be a brothers or mates . ive tried the face check and other searches but found nothing i was almost catfished before until i quickly realised it was 2 people pretending to be 1 person so was lucky . did i sound too demanding or in the wrong or was his reaction over the top ? im very careful when it comes to online stuff and all the safety , deep down my gut feeling is hes being honest but theyll always be little doubt until we meet.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (27 July 2015):
 I agree with Ciar.
You "happily" talk to him for 2 months and then when it's meeting time you suddenly want to make sure you are not being "catfished"? I am not sure I would have spend 2 whole months chatting to someone if they gave of a "weird vibe", personally.
I think you could have gone a different route and asked to Skype or Facetime instead.
Or you could have the first date be a short meeting at a coffee shop, if you like what you see then plan a second date, if you don't.. say thanks for coming I don't think I want to pursue this. Meeting for coffee is pretty "risk-free". And you can ALWAYS get up, excuse yourself and walk away.
I get that you want to be safe while dating online. And you should take precautions, but that request to take a picture with a newspaper doesn't really prove much.
We went out with the kids yesterday and I took a bunch of picture of them, my middle daughter took some of me as well. One look great the other not so much. It actually did look like two different people because of the angle. Some people take great pictures, some don't.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2015): im the op , yes it would prove the date but would also prove it was him because hes done what i asked . sounds like you havent been catfished before i just want to be careful. i didnt see it as what kidnappers do i was taking the idea from the tv show. maybe it was a strange thing to ask but im looking out for number 1 . i dont want to be the next missing person you just dont fully know who your talking to and theres only so much risk im willing to do.
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A
female
reader, MSA +, writes (27 July 2015):
 First, if after talking to him for a few months and he still gives you a bad vibe or you don't trust him, then I'd say go with your gut feeling and meet someone else.If you are just being so very paranoid, then I suggest you try to meet people in local match making clubs or somewhere locally where you can interact physically from the start. You have to understand that most people online will send you what they believe is their 'best photo'.. now this photo can be taken today, or a few months ago, or even a year ago. I wouldn't base my feelings or trust on a guy based on a single photo he sent. He won't be able to PROVE to you that he is indeed a man or the same man on the photo unless you Webcam or Face-time him. Ask if he is willing to do that if you REALLY need to see how he looks. As Ciar suggested, why not just meet at a public place first? If you don't like what you see, then dismiss yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2015): Hi. I think given your experience in the past I can understand your anxiety! However people deserve a chance that isn't based on your experience with someone else.... When you say something you asked didn't totally add to? What was it? That maybe key to If this is above board or not. Met this week, in a public place- don't let him out anyone from a dating site know where you live our pick you up ever. You will then know when you meet if all is as he says.... If he cancels this may also be a bad sign, ago think carefully if he does this.
For luck! Let us know gore it goes!x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2015): On line dating always is risky. Because the person can say anything: wrong height, weight, age, job and so on. But this is when you are taking a risk. If you are not sure about how old the picture is then an advice to come a bit earlier works. If you don't like him, you leave. But asking for multiple proofs can turn the person off. Especially if this person doesn't hide anything but you keep on digging. I met a guy once who had a girlfriend with cocaine addiction. I met him in a bar, and we agreed to meet. On a first date I had allergies reaction on something, and I kept on rubbing my nose . He asked me once if I am using. I laughed and said no, I never even tried cocaine in my life. Then half an hour later when I rubbed my nose again, he told me the story of the girlfriend, then later on again he asked me the same question. Guess what, second date never happened.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (27 July 2015):
 What is a photo with a newspaper going to tell you that a drivers licence wouldn't? The date?
I don't blame him. Your request was a bit weird. That's the sort of thing kidnappers send to family as proof of life.
You should have agreed to meet in a restaurant or some place and you arrive half an hour early. If the man doesn't match the picture then you leave before he even knows you're there.
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