A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Does my married man really love me?I also involved with a married man for almost over a year. we were ex-coworkers. At the very beginning we are just friends, I have no feelings for him at all. however, I had problem with my own marriage, was thinking of divorce. But my husband is very nice and sweet guy, it is so painful for me to tell him that we are not going to be together, for over the 7 years marriage I felt really tired to be with him. But I loved him and still going to love him as my best friend and family. I was being tempted to my married man's mature and charm. Over a couple months struggling, finally I open my idea to use him as tool to physically break my boundary with my husband. I never thought I would fall in love with him. And we also made agreement that we won't make big deal of it, just for sex and having fun.He did has some problems with his wife at that time. he asked me to run away from my life and being with him. At that time I wasn't ready to make any movement for leaving my husband. I did say no to him, but I gradually attracted by him, and told him please let me work on it, give me 5 months and I will leave my husband. At the same time, his wife found out that he cheated on her with me. and facebooked my husband, I was so scared to hurt him and used all my way to delete the massage she posted on the facebook. I even promised his wife as long as she won't tell my husband I will leave her husband alone. But I lied to her, I can't stop have sex with him and spend time with him.4 months passed, I trapped myself deeper and deeper. My married man said please leave him even it will hurt him so bad, but he loved me enough to let me go. because it is best for me. and said :"you are better than being the third one". we broke up several times. but went back to where we started. His wife is a hard core Christan and deeply believe her vows, she decided not to give her marriage up, for better or for worse. So he brought me to his house and confronted to his wife he wanted me and her at the same time. hopefully we can work it out. how dumb is that!!!! Believe me, I thought it is gonna work , I tried really hard to be there with them, but deep in my mind, I knew I am too good for this (I am 30, he is 45, his wife is 43, has two grown children), and I have seen them being together, it looks like they still love each other very much, I have asked myself over and over again, what am i doing here???Again, no matter how much I knew I was wrong, but I deeply loved my man, I think he is not a bad guy even he is cheater, he had asked me many times and broke up with me many times, but I chased him back to me. I also put him in the very hard position. Finally, his wife told my husband. he is crushed by what I have done to him. before this is happened, I tried really hard to cover it and made him agreed to divorce me but still being friend, he of cause think we can still be friend, and still have care for me. but now he kicked me out the my apartment and said never want to have anything to do with me in his entire life. I am so sad, I called his wife and blamed her for doing it to my husband. I moved into their house and spend one week there with her and my married man. I don't know for what reason my married man decided to leave the house with me and that night he was crying and packed some of his clothes and staff, we spend one week in the hotel. In the meantime, he quit his job, and said I will be with you, so he also helped me get a apartment,I brought all the new furniture that I planed for many months ago to move in with him. but only one night we spend in our new apartment. Because next day is the mother's day, he told me he need to be home with his wife and daughter, I said of cause you should. But he didn't say when he is going to be back to our apartment, so I waited for all night ,he didn't come back. So the coming Monday I called him and texted him, no response. At night, when I got home I found he left the keys to the apartment and $2500 check which his said his is going to help me buying my car, but not even one word. I went crazy , can't believe what just happened. I knew this is it. he will never be back with me. the next day, I dropped the check and his belongs to his house very early in the morning, because I didn't want to them see me. Today is my 6th day after he left. I am still very sad and felt like he took my whole world away.I can't do anything at all but being sad and cry all night long. I read a lot of articles online about woman involved with married man, none of them has happy ending, I realized this is all my fault, I deeply hurt my husband and his wife for my selfish excuses, I don't believe in God, but I think I will be punished for what I have done to everybody. If I did listened to the married man, his wife , and all my friend to end this relationship earlier, I won't have so much pain and regret right now. I live here all by myself (i am from china), no friend no family. now I am super depressed and felt like the whole world is going to end. so please read my story and stop seeing that married man, it won't go anywhere. It is hard to leave the person you gave all your heart to , but we have to do it. Be good to ourselves. At this time,I wish I never have done it, I rather to be friend with him than cross the line. I lost my family and friendship....... it is really not worth it.In the end, I still have no idea if he ever loved me before.....
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2011): "I think I will be punished for what I have done to everybody"You see, you live your punishment, and you are. Now, you need to understand yourself, and figure out why you did what you did.Life is not over, live life, and do it right from now on. Remember, in any circumstance you come face to face with, regardless of what it is, DO RIGHT THING AND AFTER YOU DO THAT THEN DO THE NEXT RIGHT THING.Live like that, and you will be OK, no matter what happens.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2011): I agree your story is a warning to all mistresses. When you deliberately hurt your husband and hurt your lovers wife, in the end your world comes crashing down.
I am glad your hb is now away from you and he wants nothing to do with you. At least now he is rid of a cheating wife and he can get his life back again.
Your lovers wife has to be admired. You invaded her life by going to stay in her home with her hb. That woman went through hell. You put her through hell.
And your lover ran back home. Now why is this not new?
In the end, you have been instrumental in hurting a lot of people especially your hb and your lovers wife. Now that you are alone promise yourself never to cheat again and never to cause pain to another wife again.
Your story is a sad one but it proves that when you deliberately hurt people, you get hurt tenfold in the end.
LoveGirl
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (17 May 2011):
 Your world will not end, and you are too young to think like that, but you were essentially used. He may have loved you to some degree, as many a man can love more than one woman, but there is usually the "one" and any others are extra.
Some men are happy to be monogamous, while some cannot resist more if they can attract as well as juggle more. In my youth I played a few at once, but soon learned to hate the deception. Honesty and dedication is the most rewarding way to love and be loved. You are now much better educated to know the difference.
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A
female
reader, belize  +, writes (17 May 2011):
 Ghosh! My heart goes out to you. How unhappy you must be.
This was never going to work. I was taking away all your self respect and dignity.
This guy is cheating love rat. He wants to have the best of both work. Sounds like t they both played a hand in messing up your life. Stay far from them!! You need a clean break from all of this. Just gentle pick your self and don't look behind you. Push you're self forward. Something good will come out of this for you, will get your dignity back. Love can be so cruel, you deserve someone better than this. You wont be the first or last, he' probably don;t it before and never got caught!
I wish you all the luck in the world
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