A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello,Second time poster here. But I really need some advice...Yesterday me and my friends went out, and we had a good time. My girlfriend showed up as well, everything was fine and we enjoyed our time. My friend, who was very drunk, annoyed my girlfriend. She didn't seem to think so, but I became irritated, and told him to go away, but in a very aggressive manner. My girlfriend was very set off by this, and walked away and ignored me. I talked to her later that evening, I wanted to give it some time before talking to her (dumb mistake). She told me how she hates it if I'm aggressive, and she doesn't want to deal with that in our relationship. I promised her I would never do it again. I also apologized numerous times. Things started going better after that, but I still felt that notch and I felt terrible. I don't think she forgave me.That is why I come to you, DC. Did she forgive me? She said everything was alright, but she was so pissed off I can't imagine. How do I take things from here?Thank you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2012): Only your girlfriend can answer that for sure. Does she still seem angry?"My friend, who was very drunk, annoyed my girlfriend. She didn't seem to think so ..." This sounds as if you thought your gf should be annoyed, but she wasn't. You then jumped in, aggressively, to tell your friend to leave your gf alone, when he wasn't bothering her. If I'm reading this correctly, she's mad at you because you are trying to dictate how she feels, in addition to being upset by how aggressively you acted. Are you like this when you aren't drinking? Controlling AND aggressive behavior is a huge red flag. If you only act that way when you're drinking, then you need to drink less. If you act that way when you're sober as well, then you need counselling to help you act in a more socially acceptable way.
A
female
reader, Ima FreAk!  +, writes (4 July 2012):
 Hiyaaa,
Honestly I don’t see why she would be pissed coz you got a little annoyed by your friend but I think she thinks that the relationship could get a bit intense so I think that you just gotta show her that you can be a man that wont get into fights or abuse her
I think that when you come across a situation like that when your really annoyed you should definitely take deep breath, think about the situation and deal with it calmly or when you really really really annoyed and wanna leash everything out just think of something that would make you laugh or if you are naturally an aggressive person or get annoyed easily don’t worry, just join the gym or do exercise at home that can get rid of things that annoy you coz sometimes when you bottle things up its not good but like I said I think its your gf wants to see that you deal with situations gently
At the moment don't worry about forgiveness coz she will only truly forgive you if you show her that you can deal with situations calmly.
I hope my advice helps
Good luck!
Lots of love,
Ima FreAk!
x
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