A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Has anybody here been through a situation where you've lost your friends or your friends have turned on you and aren't your friends anymore?Over the last couple of months all of my friends started hanging out with another group of people and I guess the best way to explain it is they stopped talking to me and started spending all of their time with this new group. It's like this new group of people are so much better than me and they would rather be with them and not me. I honestly feel a little jealous and upset that they all hang out and do things and have fun and nobody even invites me anymore.I've tried to make plans to hang out or do things together and they never want to and they even ignore me most of the time when I try and talk with them. They never really talk to me much anymore or anything, it's like none of them want anything to do with me.I've asked them if I've done anything wrong or if they're mad at me and they said no. I asked them why they don't talk to me much anymore and nobody really gives me an answer.I don't get how all of this happened so fast. I just miss my friends and I don't have other friends I can talk to or do anything with. I hate this feeling.Did they just get tired of me? How can I make new friends and get over this?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2013): Hey everyone, I'm the original poster here. Thank you all for your answers. I really don't think I have done anything wrong, I've never acted selfish or inconsiderate to any of them. I tried to be a great friend to everyone. I sat down one night and really thought about everything and I can't seem to figure out what I could have done for them to do this to me. Just wanted to add one more thing. These good friends of mine are a bit on the immature side. Don't get me wrong, I really care about them still but they are the type of people who were into drama a lot and they made me feel bad sometimes. I don't think there is anything else I can do at this point. They seem to really enjoy their new friend group and don't want me apart of it so I guess I will just leave them to it and not bother them anymore. They were just the only friends I had and I really tried my best to be a great friend. I just don't know why I was the one who got thrown out of the group. Thank you all again for your answers and time.
A
female
reader, Keeley345  +, writes (9 May 2013):
You're telling a story similar to mine. Only difference is you have friends where as I can't seem to keep any after making them easily. What I do know is that friends grow apart. But there's no excuse for ignoring someone or shutting them out e.g not including them in stuff. It sucks...believe me I know. How do you deal with it though? I'm still working on that but it's hurtful and difficult. The advice I leave you with is what I tell myself when I feel down and unappreciated. It's ''protect your heart from misuse and people who don't appreciate it. Only give your time, love and heart to those who deserve it. This is not a cowards way out but true self respect'' don't let anyone make you feel like an outcast and unwanted. Find things to do on your own that you enjoy. There is no reason why you can't have fun on your own and be happy. I'm sure in time you'll attract new friends. Just hang in there.
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A
male
reader, desperatenottobealone +, writes (9 May 2013):
Everyone hates this feeling, and it happens more often than you would think, especially among us younger folks.
It sounds like they formed a clique, and don't want you to be a part of it. You can try to join them, you may even succeed, but it is probably not worth the effort.
I would go find new friends. Make a change in your life, do different things, go different places, etc. New friends will appear. I once moved out of state and had no friends for about six months. I finally found friends by volunteering at a county fair for a week. Just get out there and do things, and you will meet other people.
I hate not having people to talk to as well, and have been in the same boat as you in the past. You'll find more friends, I'm sure.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2013): I am really sorry you are experiencing this. It's hard. But it may be a good time to review your behavior.I have done this to friends, for me it was when they were clearly self-absorbed and it was all about them. I think you should really look at your actions with them (are you selfish? absorbed? inconsiderate? need to be center of attention? condescending?). Maybe there is one person in the group you trust the most who would be willing to help you figure it out. I would approach it by saying: "I know I've done something wrong and I'd like to ask you for some insight as to what it is, since I trust you and your my friend?" Make it very non-confrontational and listen to what they are telling you.Alternatively, your friends could just be jerks, and maybe it's time for you to find a new group. Sometimes this is the case, but if you feel like they are good people, it may be something you are unaware you are doing. People don't like confrontation, it's much easier to ignore someone then to tell them you don't like their behavior. But overall, it does sound like they are avoiding you.
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