A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:One of my friends male friends has been flirting with me for a while, around 5 months, but i wasn't interested at first, however he kissed me a couple of months ago and since then i've developed some sort of attraction and i'm starting to really like him. I also think i'm addicted to his kisses, he's been coming round to mine late at night and we would just stand at my door whilst he holds me close, tickles my back, makes me laugh and kisses me. Last weeked was the first weekend he didn't come round and i missed them so much! Can you get addicted to someone?? I don't want to get too attatched for him to just be the same as the majority of guys who give off mixed signals and just want sex.
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male
reader, fzald  +, writes (9 May 2013):
Yes, you can be addicted. But not specifically to a person. What you get addicted to are the feelings that being with that person, and being physically affectionate with them, gives you.
At the risk of sounding like a college professor, it really comes down to biology. We are wired to desire human companionship, relationships, intimacy and sex. Getting those things from a person we find attractive releases chemicals in the brain that have similar characteristics to drugs! It's called "Dopamine". The same thing is at work when it comes to eating. Why is it that we eat every day but each time we're hungry the prospect of food is just as exciting as the last time? Because we're addicted to the release of dopamine that comes from a satisfying meal - the brain's "reward" for survival. Same goes for sex itself - sex with a loving partner can be just as good 20 years later.
So, yes, you are addicted, but not to the person - you're addicted to your brain's own drugs! :-)
That all being said, I second the advice of the others - be careful, make sure that before you offer him too much that you know he's going to reciprocate. Even if your body is screaming for some action, hold back, go on a few normal dates, and see how it goes with him. If you're lucky, he WILL turn out to be a good catch, and then you've got the best of both worlds. But don't settle for a deadbeat guy just because he physically turns you on. Any relationship built on physical attraction and sex will eventually fizzle out.
Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2013): Yes, you can be. But it sounds like you just have a crush.
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