A
female
age
41-50,
*issieUT
writes:Ok everyone, here it goes. Sorry if I am rambling a bit. Lately, I have been having trouble with my EX. I should add that it has been a year and a half since we split…..we are both in our 30's. He broke it off with me, saying he wasn't ready for a relationship this serious. Lately, he is lashing out at me for no reason at all. We really are not friends. I tried, but he found someone new to start dating/sleeping with and didn’t want to communicate with me. I respected that. Now, from what mutual friends say, his relationship is on the rocks. When he was happy dating someone else, I never heard a peep from him.Now that he sees I am happy, and I guess he is not, I hear from him a lot! I wish it was friendly communication, but he only contacts me to harass me. About 3 weeks ago, he randomly (while drunk) texted me at 1AM. Telling me to stop tweeting about people I have never met. I had tweeted about meeting a world famous DJ. I didn’t get into it with him that night. The next day I sent him a text, telling him I was there and I did meet this DJ, and to please not take things out on me when drunk. Days went by, and then on Thanksgiving, I texted him that I know we have been through our ups and downs, but I wanted to wish him a Happy Thanksgiving. He actually responded very nicely, just saying “I hope you’re doing well, and have a great Thanksgiving.” …..fast forward to last weekend. My EX got so mad at me for texting one of his friends. His friend works at a night club, and all I did was ask if he could get me and the guy I’m dating in for free? My Ex lashed out again. Saying “She doesn’t like you either. Please stop contacting MY friends and co-workers. You’re annoying, don’t you get it yet?” I ignored that too. Why even acknowledge him at that point. Well come to find out, later that same night, he did again. Only on Face Book. We are not Facebook friends, but I commented on one of his friends photos, and my EX commented back “Please stop commenting on all my friends’ photos, everything it’s getting really old.” My thoughts are it’s facebook. I am social, if his friends don’t like me, they have a right to delete or block me. This made him more mad, and he started calling me psycho and a Clinger…. And he started saying I never meant anything to him etc…..My real question is, why does he get so mad? How am I annoying him? If he really did move on, wouldn’t he just not care what I do? Do you think he still has feelings for me, and because I am finally happy dating someone he is jealous? Any help would be appreciated. No, I don’t think I would ever date him again, but I just can’t help but wonder if he is acting like this, because he still has feelings. You know what they say: Love me, or hate me, at least I’m on your mind! - Thanks
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (9 December 2012):
 Your ex does sound like a character, but to be fair I think you've blurred the line a little too.
Keeping in touch with his friends is an invasion of his space. I don't know anyone who ever appreciated their ex contacting their friends. I know I didn't. They're an ex and unless you've managed to remain friends yourself, you should really be out of each others lives. There are plenty of people in the world with whom to be outgoing and sociable. You don't need to keep in touch with those in his circle and you shouldn't be trying to elicit favours from them. You have your own friends and if you're that personable, you'll make new ones. Leave his alone.
Secondly, delete and block him from facebook and change your settings so that only friends (not friends of friends) can see or contact you. Change your phone number and be selective of whom you give the new one to. Block his email address. And for the love of God, stop responding to him. And no more 'Happy Thanksgiving/Birthday/Christmas' messages.
To be honest, this is a no brainer. No one here (myself included) has given you any advice that you couldn't have come up with on your own. The two of you are being very silly and childish. You're broken up now, bloody well move on and stop speaking to one another.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (9 December 2012):
 I like Aunty Em's farewell letter.
Block him on facebook and all other social networking sites, block his number so he cannot text you. If he gets around the blocks and continues to harrass save the messages, take screen shots of anything online (use print screen button and paste into paint), and if they persist seek a restraining order.
He is a miserable git,I doubt he has feelings for you still, more likely he is jealous you are able to maintain friendships and his friends are all still happy to communicate with you.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (9 December 2012):
 If you block his profile on FB, he will not be able to see any posts you put on other people's profiles so yes BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK and IGNORE!!!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 December 2012):
 Block your Ex's number - DO NOT play his little mind F... games. He wants to get a rise out of you. Because HE isn't happy he doesn't want you to be either.
Block him on your Facebook, and un-friend him - if he gets upset that you talk to people let him.. SCREW him and the horse he rode in on.
In every way possible BLOCK/REMOVE him from your life.
If he still liked you he wouldn't be this petty and hostile.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (8 December 2012):
Nope I don't think he still has feelings for you but maybe he's just one of those people that when they are miserable, they like to make other people miserable and since you are the ex, you make a good whipping post.
I suggest you drop him a line:
Dear_________ The moment you dumped me was the exact moment that you lost all or any right to have an opinion on my life, including who I speak to, comment or or talk about.
If you are going to turn into a nasty embittered miserable brat, please remember that I do not give a single fuck what your opinion is and unless you back the fuck off and leave me alone I will be reporting you for harrassment.
Have a nice day.
That might get the message through to him...and incidentally it is he who comes across as a psycho!!!
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