A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Did my bf dump me as he was scared of commitment? We'd been together for nearly 3 years and in that time things were mostly great but every now and then he'd bottle it and question whether or not we wanted the same thing. I wanted the wedding, the house, the children, the dream, but I never pushed him! He absolutely adored me and said he'd never loved a girl the way he loved me but that he didn't think we could be together anymore as he no longer wanted a physical relationship which was a bit of a surprise. He said the butterflies in his tummy had gone! I wasn't aware they lasted beyond the honeymoon period but he said he wanted to feel that forever and he no longer fancied me. He's only ever had a couple of proper girlfriends and there seems to be a trend in why he's ended the relationships. Our relationship ran very deep and we were absolutely amazing together which he also admitted. There's definitely no-one else involved as that was my first question to him! I'm absolutely heartbroken and am struggling to pick up the pieces! Please help!!!
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (29 June 2009):
It sounds like he just knew he was wasting your time.
If he didn't want the house / wedding / children then all he was doing was sitting there watching your biological clock ticking and your chances of meeting a guy who wanted those kids and houses slip away.
If he wasn't into that then he's done you a favour.
If you want kids and marriage then don't hang around with a guy who doesn't. He was never going to change and it's his loss and your gain.
Get out there and find a husband and save up a housing deposit!
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (29 June 2009):
 i think you're right i think he got so scared that he was getting so indeep with you and that he knew what it was you wanted from the relationship and perhaps he wasn't as certain as you are about what he wanted or wants in life.
he probably got scared and didn't know what else to do i don't think he doesn't love you or anything else i think this is the only type of excuse he could actually come up with because he's too afraid to admit the truth to you incase you feel he's being silly.
now i am not saying that you are that kind of woman as i am sure you're not but he needs to admitt to himself that he isn't ready for a big committment or he needs to search his soul and life and find out what he does want out of a committment and sort it out before he ends up alone.
perhaps him getting some counselling may resolve the issues he have towards the committment?
hope this helps x ilovebowsandcherries x
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (29 June 2009):
 butterflies in the stomach will not last forever, its an excitement thing and stable relationships wont always be exciting 100% of the time. anyone looking for excitement will not have it all the time no matter where they look.
if he lost the attraction at least he was honest. it is most likely because he is not ready to have responsibility and maybe never will be.
this is unfortunate for you but although it might not seem good its better he told you how he feels now than wait a couple of years more.
it seems like the two of you want different things from life.
good luck and take care
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