A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I had this wiered convorsation with my boss. Think he might have propositioned me but not sure. I now feel very awkward at work.Him: Do you ever think about doing something you shouldn't do?Me: No never I'm a saint. Do you?Him: All the time.Me: You think about deleting your diary all the time?Him: It's not the diary.Me: If you think about it all the time why don't you do it?Him: I'm not sure what sort of reaction I would get.Me: From (colleagues' names)?Him: No.Me: From (more colleagues' names)?Him: No, they wouldn't know. Only we would know it would be our secret.Me: So you're not sure what sort of reaction you would get from me?Him: Yes.Me: So it's a work thing?Him: Yes.Me: Wow I never realised my opinion mattered so much. I'm sure you know what you're doing and don't need input from me.Him: You're involved. Me: How am I involved. Is it to do with the diary? Him: (Shook head). It will be fun. Me: Who else is involved?Him: Just us.Me: So it involves me and you shouldn't do it?Him: (nodded)Me: And you think about it all the time?Him: (nodded)Me: So you want to do it?Him: More than anything.Me: Why aren't you supposed to do it, is it a bad thing?Him: No it'll be fun.Me: Would I get in trouble?Him: I would, you wouldn't. No one would know though.Me: I find that hard to believe. If you shouldn't do something there's usually a reason. It doesn't sound very good.Him: It would be good, it would be fun.Me: Yeah people always want to do stuff they're not supposed to....Him: Forbidden fruit. Me: .....but the reality isn't what it's cracked up to be.Him: It would be as good. Better. It would be fun. Me: Why don't you just say what it is? This is very random, why are you telling me this now?Him: I had other commitments before.Me: And you don't now?Him: (Shook his head)Me: How come?Him: I'll tell you later. You know, you see my diary.Me: There's no room in your diary. Him: There is.Me: Where? Weekends?Him: (nodded) and some other times.Me: It doesn't sound like a fun thing you look nervous.Him: It would be fun.Me: It sounds messy.Him: It wouldn't be, no one needs to know. Me: It sounds like it would be really awkward afterwards.Him: It wouldn't be awkward, it would be better.Me: How did you work that one out?Him: There would be less tension.Me: You think there's tension?Him: (Nodded)Me: Oh there's something wrong? I thought things were fine.Him: That's not what I meant.Me: I wouldn't be able to relax keeping a big secret.Him: You can't let go? Can you ever let it go? Him: We'd take it slow. You would be able to relax, no one would need to know.Me: You'd take it slow?Him: Yeah we'd build up to it. What do you like to drink? Me: What do I drink? What's that got to do with anything? Him: You should try taking it slow.Me: Why?Him: It's more fun.Me: I don't know you.Him: You could get to know me. Me: Why would I want to do that?Him: It would be fun.Me: Build up to what? Are you always like this? Where's your friend?Him: (Shook his head). He's not here. Me: Have you done this 'thing' before?Him: No.Me: Why not?Him: It never came up.Me: And you think it's come up now?Him: I think it might've.Me: You seem pretty sure of yourself.Him: I'm not sure.Me: But you were hoping.Him: (Nodded)Me: You do this all the time don't you.Him: (shook head) It's never come up before.Me: What is it?Him: (shook his head)Me: You can't say.Him: Nodded.Me: I don't know about being in on your big secret and it being fun I mean you're a bit highly strung. You're not horrible but you're not exactly nice either.Him: I'm different outside of work.Me: It's a bit of a jump to go from that to being in on some big secret.Him: We'd take it slow.Me: So you wouldn't want to do this 'thing' right away?Him: (shook head) I'm not like that.Me: I don't believe you've never done what ever it is before.Him: You don't trust me?Me: No.Him: Why not?Me: I just don't.Him: I thought you liked having fun?Me: You thought I liked having fun?Him: (Nodded)Me: Not at work.Him: It wouldn't be at work.Me: I thought you said it was a work thing. What does it have to do with me if it's not a work thing? Him: It'll be chilled out and fun, no one would know. Just the two of us. Me: I'm not a thing. I'm not interested and I'm not running after anyone.Him: Why do you think you would be doing that?Me: Because that's my job with the PA stuff. It's fine for a job but I don't want to be doing that outside of work. Him: I'd do the running.Me: You'd do the running? That would be hilarious. Him: It wouldn't be like that. It would be fun. Me: It's always like that when there's a big disparity. They always have loads of......and treat you like crap.Him: Baggage.Me: Yeah. You just get treated like crap by people who think you're nothing and taken for a mug and they think you're only good enough for one thing. I'm intelligent and i've got my whole life ahead of me. I think i can do better than thatHim: You've got me wrong. It wouldn't be like that, I'm not like that.Me: It always is.Him: It's the ones you go for. They're not all bad.Me: So I've heard. I'm not doing that again.Him: You think they're all after one thing.Me: Yeah when there's a big difference they are, I've got nothing in common with...Him: You have with your brother.Me: It's completely different he's my brother and we've been through a lot together. We've got lots in common.Me: I'm not even friends with...Him: You could be.Me: Haha you want to be my friend? Him: Not all men are after one thing. Me: Ok I apologise I've obviously got the wrong end of the stick. I would like to point out though that most people would find the things you just said odd. You might want to think about the way you phrase things.Him: You haven't got the wrong end of the stick. Me: I haven't got the wrong end if the stick?Him: (Shook head) I'm not like that, it wouldn't be like that.Me: I haven't got the wrong end of the stick but it wouldn't be like that?Him: (Nodded)Me: What would it be like?Him: Fun and chilled out.Me: Ok I don't really get what you're talking about. Is this some kind of joke because I don't think it's funny.Him: It's not a joke.Me: Prove it.Him: I want to.Me: Why don't you?Him: I can't. Me: If its a work thing why don't you just tell me. You're all about the innuendo, I wasn't born yesterday. Him: (No answer)Me: Ok i'm just going to move on with your diary because I don't really know what this is about.Him: (Laughed)Me: Why are you laughing at me?Him: I'm not.Me: Ok whatever, moving on.
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at work, move on, my boss Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (1 March 2016):
 I remember that story from earlier in the year.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/was-my-boss-stepping-over-the-boundaries.html
You got great advice but you still seem to enjoy the game play and fantasy because this is a repeat post - just a bit more elaborate - and not an update...
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (1 March 2016):
 From this conversation I think you know exactly what you meant, and I am pretty sure you where playing along as well. You have posted this question before, or else someone else has had the same problem, either way you know this is wrong.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (1 March 2016):
 Yes, he was. He is very obviously hinting just at what you think he was hinting.
But, - since you DO think that he was hinting at something very unprofessional, otherwise you would not have wrote to DC,- frankly I am surprised you dragged the conversation on at such length and with such coyness.
Either you are as naive as they don't make them anymore - or you were auditioning for the role pf Sugar Kane Kowalczyk in " Somebody likes it hot ", -or you KNEW what he meant and were egging him on on purpose.
Do you think that this is the kind of professional conversation appropriate between a boss and his assistent ??
You could have stopped him dead on his tracks , politely and calmly, but firmly : " No, I do not wish to be involved in any of your PERSONAL secrets ". " I think we'd better get back to business right now ". Or any similar polite but chilling expression.
Instead you go on teasing him , playing his game... wow !, he must have gone home with a massive boner,lol !
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (1 March 2016):
 It seems clear that there is a strong element of sexual innuendo in the subtext. But haven't you asked this question before? I seem to remember a similar one some time back.
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