A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This guy I've been talking to wanted to come over Friday night. We were having lunch together Wednesday (he stopped by my office to take me out to lunch,) and he was extremely sweet to me. He and I dated a few months ago but have kind of been doing other things lately... anyway, after lunch yesterday I texted him, "So what are your intentions with me? Do you want to go back to dating again or what?" and he replied "We can discuss that when I'm not at work :-)" I just said "ok" and that's been it since then! He classified our status as "dating" before, so I don't think it would scare him off to use that term, as it's not a very aggressive term anyway. So what's up with him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUpdate: after not hearing a word from him yesterday, he texted me very early this morning asking when I could take a phone call.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (22 February 2013):
 Guys aren't as concerned (as are women) with knowing exactly how to "define" what is going on between the two of them... We have only one goal... and you KNOW what that is.... and all of our efforts are expended to see that we meet that goal....
Had you and he been intimate, in the past, when you were "dating?" If "yes," then it's perfectly clear that he's in a drought and needs (wants) to see you for a little session of mattress dominos..... If "no," then it would appear that he likes your company, and would like to share it (your company) again.... at least this Friday evening......
It's evident that you and he stay in-touch (meeting for lunch).... so you did "take a risk" with your question that - apparently - sought to quantify just what you (and, maybe, he) think is your current status.... However, you may never get that real answer from him....
Good luck...
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2013): I doubt he's scared OP, you just ambushed him with that really. A bit out of the blue and right in the middle of work, your timing was a little off. If he's like me and most of the guys I know when in work mode being asked serious questions like that can throw us off our game, we guys can multi-task but not in that way really. That's a generalization of course but my fiancée could be writing a report for work that's due tomorrow and have some serious conversation with someone about something life changing at the same time and be able to focus on both, me? That would throw me off and I'd find it very hard to get back focused on the work I was doing, I'd then do a poor job of both unless I stopped one to focus on the other.
Today is the Friday he wanted to come over? So just call or text him and organize that.
He's had time to think so he'll probably bring it up himself later when he calls over.
As Cindy says you put it out there, the ball is in his court. Act like it was a casual question that you were "just wondering" and let him respond in his own time. Assume nothing and see what happens and don't ask him again or bring it up unless he's over there a while and seems to be avoiding the issue.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 February 2013):
 Maybe it's not the term that scared him off, but the concept behind it ,lol.
I would at least think ,that if you started with dating , and it soon fizzled, maybe he would not be so eager to try again , after few months, something that he had lost interest in before. Maybe he still wanted to see you- but in different circumstances. Like, a casual Friday night sleepover at your place, then who knows ,no plans no expectations. This context would easily explain his silence.
Then again, don't fret yet. This happened only two days ago !, people have got other stuff to do beside thinking about their love life,- and he is right, this is not something that should be discussed by text during work hours .
I'd say , the ball is in his court, you asked him a question, he is the one who needs to come up with an answer, positive or negative.
Wait a few more days, until,say, next Wednesday- and if he still has not replied, colour him gone with no regrets. It would mean he just wanted a Friday night snack for his sexual munchies.
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