| A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Am I overeacting? I am a male, in an amazing relationship with my girlfriend, and I have a question. So, a while ago I was hearing how her best friend was pantsing my girlfriend(pulling down the pants all the way so underwear is exposed) but I let it go and didn't say anything. But I kept on hearing these stories, I also heard that it was happening in front of other guys, and it was happening at school where any guy can see my girlfriend getting pants. So, then I thought enough is enough. I talked to my girlfriend and her best friend, I asked my girlfriend and her best friend how many times it happened, they both said only two. Then I told my girlfriend's best friend that this was getting me mad and I don't want my girlfriend's underwear being shown to guys. I told her also that since I have so much respect for my girlfriend I would turn the other way if it happened in front of me, I included also that most other guys wouldn't. So I made her promise that she wouldn't pants my girlfriend again. Then, 2 days later or around their, her bestfriend upskirts her, which is pretty much equivilent to pantsing. I got really mad. She said she didn't really break the promise, I told her theirs nearly no difference. I didn't really say much more, I just walked away and was like "Wow I see you can keep your promises". Then, later she tells me how much I overreacted. My girlfriend says I didn't overreact which matters most. So my question is, do you think I handled it appropriately or did I overreact?
View related questions:
best friend, underwear Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2008): Why do you care?
It is HER body, not yours and your girlfriend obviously doesn't have a problem with it happening to her. Otherwise she wouldn't be best friends with the other girl.
If she asks you to intervene etc then sure, go ahead.
But otherwise you aren't doing it for HER, you are doing it so that other people don't see your girlfriend.
All I'd do is simply ask your girlfriend if she has a problem with it. If she says yes, then ask her if she has talked to her friend about it. If she says she has, then ask her if there is anything she would like you to do.
Be very careful about getting upset about this sort of thing because most girls will read this as you being insecure about her. You could give her the impression that because she has the title of 'your girlfriend' that she isn't allowed to have fun with her friends, or that she isn't allowed to have fun with other guys.
(By fun, I mean friend type fun.)
If she gets this vibe she will run. I couldn't blame her either.
Learn to just chill. Don't allow fun and games to upset you because they are just that - fun and games.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2006): Your girlfriend and her friends are acting how a lot of girls her age act, they are just mucking around.
Perhaps your maturity levels are different and incompatible?
You don't want to be accused of overreacting, likewise she doesn't want you accusing her of acting wrongly.
Neither of you are right, in my opinion.
...............................
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (30 December 2006):
 So far yo're right on the target. Why does your girlgriend put up with this. Also, why are you negotiating with someone who is clearly doiong something wrong. Actually, they could get into trouble for doing this. Your girlfriend needs to be more firm and take control of this.
...............................
|
