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male
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*D
writes:Hello to all!A young lady(29) applied for a job at a small school I run a few days ago.The job is about 5 hours but during the interview there seemed to be an instant attraction between us.She asked me if I was married and when I said no(I am 37) she commented "I can't believe you are not married! Do you have an issue with commitment?"We talk about out hobbies a bit, I bring up the topic of a theater play I might go to and she says she loves the theater. I don't invite her to go with me but tell her I will send her any details.I call her later to clarify stuff on the CV and she seems interested to hear from me and asks about theatrical play again. We arrange to meet last Friday.She ends the call by saying she is glad she met me, no matter what I decide.IMPORTANT NOTEI find out(not from her) she has been in a relationship for about 4 years with a guy who is 27- he is two years her junior.On Friday, we get together to talk about aspects of the job.Seem she can't commit to 5 hours but would like to work with me even if it for 2 or 3.I took this to mean she wants some sort of connection to me because she doesn't seem to be doing it for the money(Job pays average)!ANyway, we talked a bit about the job, and A LOT about everything else. I tried to talk a bit about relationships but she said nothing about her boyfriend.I avoided asking her directly.It was like being on a coffee date.She look at a picture of me from 5 years back and said I looked younger now(flattery?).I did most of the talking but that was because she was asking questions.I commented on this fact , and she said that she likes to hear me talk and liked listening to me.Body language is very positive I think.We decided to talk to Monday and see if she would take up the class.I call her on Sunday afternoon(1) and ask her if she has any news about her schedule. She asks if we could talk in the afternoon. I say that is fine. (Seems she couldn't talk-maybe she was with her BF?)She sends me a text message a few hours later saying she is still not certain about her program but doesn't want to delay me any further.ADDs that she hopes we work together in the future, and is glad to have met me and wishes me a good academic year.I call her a few hours later but she doesn't answer her cell.I send a SMS on Monday(yesterday) saying that it was a pleasure meeting her and wish her the best.My Question is?What happened here?I thought this girl was coming on to me and all of a sudden she cuts all contact with a SMS message and does not answer my call!I think I had a small window of opportunity to do something with her but missed it.Then she thought things over, and her relationship with her BF.Is my analysis correct? Any ideas what went through her mind?How/DO i proceed?ThanksThanks,
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008): No, I think you did the right thing. I would've felt uncomfortable if my future employer asked me out during an interview...and a 4 year relationship (if still going on) involves alot of time, love memories, attachment...she may be confused if she truly wants to spend the rest of her life with him.??
Give this some time...if she's 'the one', she'll contact you next.
p.s. These days, some girls are flirtatious (inappropriate) without even realizing.
A
male
reader, FETSEA  +, writes (17 September 2008):
HELLO, my friend. What do you want? A teacher or a mate. You meet someone in an interview for the first time, you are "already attracted to her",you go on a date, she speaks her term of 2-3 hours and negotiates away from your 5 hours criteria, commits having a boyfriemd the last 4 years and so on. She avoids your calls and no SMS either. Now ask yourself: Does she need that job? Is this so called teaching hours(pretext), her the time to fling;
is she better a teacher or as a pursuit opportunity mate to you. She has already wished you a good academic year, but said something like let's work together.
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A
female
reader, Hopeful Romantic  +, writes (17 September 2008):
 Maybe she was interested... maybe she was at the time considering breaking up with her boyfriend, but hoping she could find someone to help get him out of her thoughts and maybe she considered you to be the one that could do that for her.
Has she contacted you since then?
If not - move on...
If so... what is the status now?
I would also like to advise, that if you are interested in a woman & you mention going to a play & she says she likes the theatre & you don't have a date, go ahead and say, "Would you like to join me?" :)
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (16 September 2008):
 It seems your analysis is partly correct. She might have liked you a lot, but then she remembered she has a boyfriend.
Now, find someone else. The window of opportunity never existed. Your analysis suggests that she would have been with you if only you had done things right. No, that's wrong. You never had a chance.
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