A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I dont know if what I did was wrong. I dont like this girl at all. not even a little bit. I just wanted to have sex. I know that sounds kinda the guy image but it was kinda already understood that we were going too.. but now i feel like shit after. I called her, she came over, then i kinda made up an excuse so shed leave... I didnt hurt her or anything, I doubt she cares. But i am the type of guy that doesnt hook up with girls. Now i feel like I just lowered my standards and my image. ( to be honest shes about a 2 out of 10). So my question is do people care? I know this seems maybe dum but did i lower my image or what i did does it really even matter? like if my friends found out theyd make fun of me... Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2011): A lot of women feel fine sleeping with guys that they consider good enough to fuck but not good enough to be in a relationship with. They have the luxury of choosing good looking partners who are "not relationship material" because of their gender. But the core values of it aren't really much different than a man who fucks a woman below his appearance standards. It's still using someone for sex that they don't think is good enough for them to be officially paired up with.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2011): You made a couple of mistakes.Above all, you do actually know that what you did was wrong, and that is why you feel the way that you do.One mistake was having sex outside of a respectful relationship.In other words, you used her, and you know it, and you feel bad about it.It's good that you feel bad about it."I know this seems maybe dum but did i lower my image or what i did does it really even matter?"Forget about your image. You say this girl is a "2". How do you think she feels that you think that about her? Really? Did she have sex with you hoping that you would like her and want to be with her and not think she is ugly?If you think your friends would make fun of you, what do you think she will feel like knowing that you feel the way you do about her?I'm not trying to beat up on you, but you probably did hurt her. She's probably feeling like shit now because you "sent her away" and she was more likely than not looking for a connection in the only way she knew how. Maybe not, but I'd be surprised if that isn't the case.Who cares what your friends think, it is what you did that was wrong, and you need to make amends to her, to yourself, and you need to understand yourself before you can effectively do so.Just for a start, you probably need to apologize to her. She may slough it off as "nothing", but often people who have been hurt do exactly that, because to admit that they have been hurt, to anyone else, even to themselves, is more painful than the initial hurt.
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A
male
reader, DeadEyeDick +, writes (15 December 2011):
 This is the exact reason I had only been with 5 women by age 30, because the first 2 were chicks I met, and banged, I felt so horrible, and shallow afterwards that I have never had sex with another girl again, that wasn't my girlfriend, and I had true feelings for the next 3, I used to think there was something wrong with me, cause my little brother literally fcked everything that would let him, he had been with 100 girls before he started college, and had 2 std's before he was 18, I think it's just personal preference, your conscience obviously is telling you, this hit it and quit it shit is not for you, your story's kind of humorous though, as I believe probably the good majority of guys on here have had a similar experience, banging a chick that you don't want ANY!! of your friends to even suspect you've banged, LOL, your okay bro, I think you just need to stay with girls you have feelings for, and you'll be just fine.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (15 December 2011):
 One action doesn't determine who we are as a person because if that were the case then we would all be horrible people. You obviously just wanted someone to be close to you for that moment and as long as she isn't hurt or led on then you both are free to have this moment. I know what you mean here because not to long ago after I got dumped I called an old friend basically just to hook up with which I have never done before. It was a one time thing that I was wondering what it would be like. This is what I am thinking that yours was. You don't have to tell anyone or feel bad about it. We are all human and sometimes we just want that intamcy with someone for one night.
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