A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I know this is a relationship site but thought I would write on here. I am a quiet and shy person naturally and tend to be the friend people walk over. But I will be there for my friends at the drop of a hat because I wouldn't want them to be treated in the way I am. I am there for friends, then hear nothing. They use me to their advantage, then don't want to know when it comes to just hanging out normally. How can I (1) help myself stop being used by friends so easily and (2) make new friends?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 December 2011):
 If they don't hang with you "normally" and only call you when they need you to do stuff for them, they are not friends. Once you stop calling people who aren't your friends friends, you'll have come a long way. New friends are made through socializing. Don't be eager to throw yourself under the bus again, because as soon as you start a habit of only socializing when people need you to do things for them then that's how you teach them to treat you. YOU are the one who teaches others how to treat you. I get that you want to be nice, but make people earn your favours, rather than hope they will like you if you give and give and give and give and give. Make sure you GET, and give proportionally.
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