Did I loose my change at love?

A female age 30-35, *os writes:

Ok, so ive been friends with this guy for 3 years. We attend the same college. My first semester at the college i met him, i liked him, but because he was 3 years older then me and a bit of a player, he told me that he'd make my life miserable if we talked, and that i was too young (i was 17) But we became the best of friends. Always hanging out everyday, People used the think we dated because we were always with eachother. He started talking to another girl and because they were both in my class they would talk about he went to her ma's house and eat there and all that. Of course i was really jealous, but i never said anything. A semester went by and i started dating another guy. Me and him (adam) were still close but i was of course occupied with my boyfriend so we spent a lot less time together. During this time i guess he realized he wanted to be with me because at this time i was 18 and and he realized he lost me, i told him i loved my boyfriend. When me and my boyfriend were having problems adam was there all the time to consol me, and when broke up, he consoled me while telling me he really liked me and wanted to be wtih me. I kept turing him down because i wasnt over my ex. Before he left to hs hometown, he asked me if we could be more than freinds i said no. (we attempted to kiss 3 months before that but it was awkard so t didnt go any further) Because he was my first friend in the country (had moved to the states right before starting) he introduced me to people. Well 3-4 months before he asked me to be more than friends, he introduced me to his little crew. 2 boys and 2 Girls and him. We all clicked and we started hanging. I never lived on campus before but when i saw the dorms they were in they were pretty nice, and when i inquired, one of the girls (lisa) told me there was a spare room and that i should move in.. that next semester i did. Adam drove me home from the skating rink one night before he left to his hometown (this was before he asked me to be more than friends) i told him i slept with my ex, he got so mad that he almost broke his steering wheel. So its january, and im sleeping in my room, my other roomates (adams friends) are outside. I hear Amanda (the other friend) say "God told me Adam was not good for me, and we have been still sleeping together for a year, and he keeps talking to jessica, he wont leave her alone.) Im thinking, wtf. He has been trying to date me for about a year and a half meanwhile he is letting you believe he wants to be with her. So i told her he had been trying to date me. So we confronted him, he said he was just trying to sleep with me, and although i knew he was lying it hurt me but because i didnt have any feelings for him, i decided to let it go, so he could have a chance to be with the girl he loved. So they start dating. Of course me and adam are still close always together. So much that people would ask me where he was rather than her. So we had planned last december to go to his hometown, but it was suppose to be the whole crew, but it so happened that me and amanda were the only two that went. We met his family and all that. (This girl, is sooo mean to him by the way, the whole time we were in his hometown, she was shouting at him when his am wasnt around, and pretending to be the perfect gf.. everyone tellng him he needs to leave her, but he s real passive. Even lisa (her bestfriend) told him he needs to leave her. So when we came back i kinda saw him in a differant light and we slept together while they were dating. It was the best, at first he didnt wanna kiss, then our eyes met, and we were kissing and making love. It was so great. So the next day i came over.. He kissed me and told me that he wanted to break up with amanda. I told him no.. i said " I dont love you the way she does and i never will. im not good for you. Is there anything i can do to make you get over it, bc this was a one time thing" He told me to come around less which i did. A week later i asked if i needed to come around even less... he said no, and that i should come around as much as i used to. It seemed like everytime i said i didn't want to be with him, he would reiterate that he would leave his girl. He sent me a text one day that said he kinda liked me. I never replied. later on i did. I just said 'really' he said he never sent it, i think it hurt his feelings, but i dont know. Well a month passed and he would stare at me all the time. There was this big thing about me liking him and i was pissed bc i knew he liked me. I asked him, if he liked me, but he said no. A month went by and we slept together again. Each time getting closer. When we went to the club, i danced with this other guy, later on that night, he said with a fustrated look " I saw you dancing with other guys" when i gave hm a " And your point is.. your not my man" look he smiled and turned bk to watching t.v. He invited me to dallas with him his girl and a couple of riends, the whole time paying me way more attention. He even brought my favorite movie. There was a time,, i went over and we didnt have sex, he didnt want to.. he just wanted to cuddle with me and talk to me. When i said i was leaving for the week, before i left he said "u knw you dont want to go" He would pop up at my appt (a new appt) at random times. One night he came over.. he said "would you be with me if he didnt have any prior contrainst" i said no, cuz he was a little drunk..(think he was just acting drunk) He asked me if i would stop being friends with amanda when said no, he asked me if would leave the school, i said i didnt know... But later on i called his bluff and left for a week told them i was going to stay with a GUY friend that kinda liked me ( was really staying with my bro) , i sent him a message saying that i wanted him to be happy and that he deserved it. I also said i thought he wasnt happy and thats why i was sleeping with him (he had sex 6 times) He never replied. I was ssooo hurt. When went bk to take my exam went to his room to ask him why the hell he couldnt say thankyou. He started shaking me "why didyou leave?? where did you guy? i never told you to leave!! you think i feel good, i feel like shit" and he looked it too. I left his room and he called me bk and he gave me a long lasting hug.. but of course i was acing silly, saying i had to leave.. so i did. Well a month later, he told his gf he cheated on her. She left, and when she left he told his friend he was just waiting for her to break up with him, but she came bk.. I never found this out until after he told me he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He said i should stay out of his lift and that he prioritized his girl over me. We sat for hours looking in eachother eyes.. but his final words were " so yeah, no more friendship stay out of my life" It really hurt me. A week later, i noticed one of my lolipops were missing knw it was him and i was happy. He told me how pointless it would be for us to stop being friends and that i was cool. When i found out he cheated, i was like damn wasnt the only one, but we were sleeping together for 3 months but i dont know if it was all about sex, since there were times were he just wanted to lay down with him and hold me and let me know his inner most secrets. He wouldnt even lock the door, almost like he didnt care. ANYway, when i found out i asked him what number i was.. and if he used a condom, because there were times he didnt use one with me. His reply was.."uh isnt that a bit over your paygrade, i told amanda everytyhing" i was like Wow.. OK. Its weird because he wanted me around, but he wouldnt talk to me when amanda was there. I never knew she thought we were sleeping together.. i thought to myself "why would you want me around if she is suspicious" And he wouldnt even talk to me which made it even wierder... I told amanda we were sleeping together.. She was very upset and as she was shouting at him, he asked her for his key to his apt... i was like wow.. right before she found out, he was conforting me telling me everything was going to be ok.. and that he wouldnt let her hit me, and he would take all the hits.. he was really there for me.but everything became screwed up because even though i did start it.. he told her,,, i got sooo mad that i started telling her every little thing he did.. infront of the whole crew.. i cussed him out.. and i mean BAD!!! She is still with him and i emailed him to apologise. i sent a message asknig a question but he never replied

View related questions: broke up, condom, drunk, jealous, kissing, my ex, player, text

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A male reader, rcn  +, writes (13 May 2010):

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A female reader, zos  +, writes (11 May 2010):

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A male reader, rcn  +, writes (11 May 2010):

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