A
female
age
41-50,
*haquita
writes:I'm confused and scared that the love of my life has just played me!My ex and i broke up about 4 months ago and there has not been a day that has gone by that we haven't talked to one another. Sometimes it's at arms length, a lot of the times it's flirty, and sometimes it's a fight.About a month ago he told me he was going to see his new gf...it hurt like hell but I still remained friends with him and still flirt. I about a week later told him i was seeing someone he didn't know but was in his circle of "hockey' friends. he went insanely jealous and started asking around about him at parties and texting me if I had had sex with him yet.This has been an ongoing thing and the flirting between us has gotten heavier. Just this past w/e he showed up at a party (one he led me to believe he wasn't going to be there) it was awkward at first but we ended up having a great time. he kept texting me during and after he left the party how much he wanted me and missed me. The next day he invited me over to his place. He put on a movie that him and I would spend time laughing over and we both admitted we couldn't watch it after our break-up! We were having a good time and we talked about our break-up and than he started telling me he knows he has to end things with his new gf but he says she's a nice woman, has been hurt in the past but he's not that into her. he said he never wanted to hurt anyone. we talked about the tempatation of wanting each other and he was visibly struggling with doing anything with me b/c he said he has morals. All of a sudden about an hour later he just threw his hands up and said...let's do this!! we had amazing, passionate sex. afterwards we cuddled and he cried about how guilty he feels. I comforted him and we both agreed that we had crossed the line now and to sit and feel the guilt is not gonna change what has happened. we went to a party, went back to his place and spent the night together. woke up had sex. went back later that night. I brought him some food, cleaned up his place, he asked for a massage and made a few sexual inuendo's but than said we don't need to have sex everytime we're together. he also talked about future stuff with us. I left that night and now he is being distant.It has been 2 days and our convo's are simple, he steers away from my flirts and when i layed it on the line and told him he needs to make a decision, he said he never meant to hurt anyone and can't eat or sleep unless he's drunk. i told him I would be here when he's ready and he responded with "thanks"I got played didn't I???
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broke up, drunk, flirt, jealous, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Chaquita +, writes (15 October 2010):
Chaquita is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your feedback!!! I decided to give this other guy a chance and I went out with him on another date and what a difference in him and my ex. I told him the truth and he still wants to have a shot with me but obviously with caution...fair enough!!! I need to move on from my ex because the choice is too hard for him to break up with his gf. That speaks volumes about what those 3 days together really were and I can not allow for him to lead my life!!!
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (14 October 2010):
No, you weren't played. This is worse that you being played. This is you now lowering your standards so you've been complicit in him cheating. You weren't played at all. You knew he was with someone, you were up for having sex, you did, you went to a party, then had sex again. You weren't played at all. The only person played here was his poor girlfriend.
Hence the reason you really SHOULD NOT HAVE had contact with him at all. He has no morals, and his sudden jealousy proved it. Not only that, but in your reply you blew off another probably better guy for him. He then cheated on his girlfriend several times with you.
You weren't played. Worse. You and he played his girlfriend. The price now is that while he swans around, you get to pick up the pieces.
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A
female
reader, Chaquita +, writes (14 October 2010):
Chaquita is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI knew what we were doing and he also knew that sleeping together for me meant that we would have a go of this again. He broke up with me because he said he didn't want a gf anymore because he hated the emotional attachment. It did not take long for him to attach himself to someone else though. He said that he and her had the talk about the two of them not being serious, but in the same token he feels guilty and is having a hard time finding the right way to end it because she did nothing wrong. he claoms he has morals!!! He said he isn't that into her, so than why is it so hard for him to leave her? Keep in mind he has always told me he cared about me from the time we broke up and he said he thinks he's keeping himself from being happy with me. He got hurt and burned pretty bad from his marriage. he even asked if I told my brother yet about us (they are good friends. I'm so confused, I ended a fresh new (2 date old) relationship because of this and he knew I was doing that!!!
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A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (14 October 2010):
 Played? Maybe, but you definitely weren't in a situation that would turn out well. Afterall, you knew he was cheating when you two had sex. What were you expecting? Him to drop her and come running back to you?
Really, you two shouldn't be having so much contact. I can't imagine his GF would like that. Now he cheated. Do you want to be with a cheater?
Why did you break up in the first place? Has that gotten better?
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