A
female
age
36-40,
*utterfly18
writes:its really a long story but im gonna make it shortso i have a crush on a guy 4 almost a year and we re both in college well i started to like him when i knew that he likes me but im just too shy to talk to him so... he tried so many times to talk to me and show me that he likes memonth ago he sat next to me in class(it wasnt by accident) so i felt so nervous and i was blushing and couldnt say a word and we both were so uncomfortable (eventhough i always dreamed of this moment but i dont know i just felt scared and i thought im gonna make a fool of myself if he talked to me)and to make it worse i just sat somewhere else when the lecture was over and now hes avoiding me and i really feel so bad about it coz if i were him i think i would be really hurt and especially that he doesnt really talk to lot of girls ...so im sure it took him alot of courage to do it then i acted like that and i really like him i mean hes almost perfect but i dont know i just feel really nervous when i see him passing by and i really wish if he knows how i feel about him and i dont want him to think i hate him so GUYS do u think i hurt him and if yes then how can i make it right?please help me with that coz i like him so much and don wanna lose him and i cant stop thinking about what i could've done at that moment and it really makes me cry knowing that i hurt him coz hes really a good guy and deserves better so ......appreciate any advice
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male
reader, Illithid  +, writes (27 December 2010):
 If he's shy, then he probably reads ENTIRELY TOO MUCH into everything. He likes you and has been trying to talk to you, trying to approach you, but you haven't really reached back enough for him to be sure he's got a chance. Then he sat next to you and you didn't really talk to him and were visibly uncomfortable. Then you sat somewhere else. Chances are, he thinks you moved to avoid him and took that as a sign that he's better off just moving on rather than make a fool of himself pursuing you.
I was just like him (and still am somewhat). It's easier to give up and walk away than face being rejected, so he's just trying to see if you're interested without asking. From what he saw, he THINKS you're not interested. He's WRONG, but he doesn't know that. One of the two of you has to be strong, or nothing will ever happen. If he won't or can't be the strong one right now, you have to or you'll both just go your separate ways.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2010): I am not a guy but I do know what you are going through. I feel the same way about guy, and I can't talk to him. He talks to me and I sometimes just stare at him. I am getting better. I said hi to him a few months ago. And this month I actually had a conversation with him. I get really nervous when I around him. When I talk to him I feel like I sound stupid. For your answer, I think you did hurt him. I think you should go up to him and tell him you are sorry how you acted, it is only because you like him. I know it is going to be hard, but you need to, if you want to make it right. Just take a deep breath and go up to him, you can do it.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (27 December 2010):
 Yes, I think you hurt him. Some guys develop the thick skin to shrug off rejection, but that takes a lot of practice. It sounds like he hasn't had that practice.
The good news is you can make it up to him. It won't be easy, though (nothing good ever is easy). You're going to have to force yourself to overcome your shyness and talk to him. Now, I've been in your shoes - your brain is going to come up with a million things that can go wrong, or excuses to not talk to him, and it'll be an almost paralyzing feeling.
Ignore that feeling. That's your instincts trying to mess up your life. The less you think about it, the better. Come up with two random topics for small talk, go say hi, and just enjoy the conversation. If you don't end up using either topic, great, save them for later. Play with your hair, blush (shouldn't be difficult), and maintain eye contact (might be tough, but do it anyway).
More good news: you're not a bad person. Some people are just shy. It happens, we act without thinking, life goes on. It's not as if you meant to hurt his feelings. If he asks about why you moved, laugh and say you were afraid of saying something stupid. He'll understand. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2010): Write him a note to let him know that way you don't have to be embarrassed because he's not face to face with you. Make sure you tell him that you think you might have hurt him but the exact opposite was the case. Best wishes
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A
female
reader, Dreamer1988 +, writes (27 December 2010):
 You both sound shy. My advice would be to go up to him and talk to him. That can establish some kind of communication between the two of you so you can at least say hi, smile, and acknowledge him when you are both in class together. Maybe, ask him for help with the homework? Just sitting next to someone doesn't mean much- From the looks of it, it seems like you guys are too nervous to talk to each other and that's getting in the way.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2010): I wouldn't worry to much about him feeling hurt because he probably doesn't feel anything maybe a little rejected if anything
If i were you and you like him and he likes you just ask him for some help on a lecture paper and go from there if he agrees ask him for some help in a coffee shop or the library and when you feel like your not as shy ask him out on a proper date just don't tell him how keen you are on him because that will probably scare him off
Theres no sham in women asking men out!!!!!!!!!!
Good luck
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