A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I met a girl last week at my friends party. She danced with me for over an hour we kissed quite a bit and she really showed interest staring into my eyes holding me all that stuff. She asked if I wanted to exchange numbers with her and we did. I didn't hear anything from her and I gave in about 3 days then sent her a simple message ''how's your week been?'' she replied with half hour everything she told me she's been taking long walks and cooking so I asked her stuff about that she replied again within the hour all cool. Then the next time she took a couple of hours to reply I didn't mind at all but she apologised in her next message to me which I thought was sweet and considerate of her. The last message was in the middle of the night where she told me she was giving advise to her friend and said it was worrying for her as she didn't think she was good at it. I asked her what was wrong she didn't say just said she couldn't sleep but was usually up this hour and said time for tea. I replied about 20 minutes later with "I was just about to close my eyes - is this a dream?" I heard nothing since from her in over 2 days. What's wrong do you think? was it my last message or what? I don't know what I should do. Do you think she was just not interested after all? or is it me? Really hope you can help advise I really like this girl a lot and this meeting meant a lot to me.Best WishesJason x
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male
reader, doublejack  +, writes (22 December 2011):
Yea, unfortunately it looks like she might have moved on from you. She definitely backed away for whatever reason. It might be that she just wants to slow things down a bit, or it could be something else. There's just no way to tell.
My advice in this situation is to take a step back yourself. You expressed interest and have made multiple attempts to get the ball rolling again. If you continue like that you'll look very needy and will probably push her away. Give her some space and see if she gets back in contact with you. If she doesn't call or text, that unfortunately will be your closure.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, thanks for all your help. Some other things have happened since, we got close and hung out a few days and stayed together at my place then it happened again we slept together every night for most of that week, it was really nice and we went for a few walks together too. I have recently noticed she has distanced herself from me. She hasn't really talked to me properly since I was late for our last date 2 weeks ago. She offered to meet again the next day to make up for the time we lost after I explained it couldn't be helped and that traffic was bad. She didn't call that next day so we didn't meet up. Should I have been the one to call? A couple of days later I sent her a message saying I was sorry for what happened and that I enjoyed the time we spent together and to take care. I called her 3 days later as I didn't get a reply and she answered said she had a cold but was ok. I kept it short and just asked if she got my message and she said yes & that she was going to reply, I cut the call and said I had to go finish off something's. The next evening I sent her a message asking if it was over between us and she replied said to stop worrying and that everything is ok & asked if she could speak to me the next day. I replied the next afternoon and said I thought I'd upset her but she replied a few hours later and said I hadn't at all. So I'm left confused - I sent her a message 3 days later after her last message asking how she was and if she wanted to meet up soon. It's been 3 days today and I haven't heard from her. What should I do? call? or just wait for her to contact me? I feel like saying to her it feels like she is done with me and that I need some form of closure. Please help! It's been 2 weeks since we've seen each other now. Thanks in advance x
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A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (12 November 2011):
I'm going to echo the other advice given. This was one text, so I wouldn't read too much into it. Perhaps she just doesn't know how to reply to it, so it resulted in a "dead end" to the conversation. I feel your best bet is to call her and ask her out. There are several reasons I can come up with as to why this is a good idea.
1. You had already met this woman in person. It isn't like she is someone you first contacted online and are working toward an eventual date. You've already crossed the initial meeting bridge, as well as the physical touching and kissing barriers, so the next step is a proper date. I am a firm believer in asking a woman out for the first time either via a phone call or in person. For one you'll get an instant yes or no response, rather than hanging in limbo while you wait for a text back. Secondly, it is more personal & romantic. If she likes you, she'll appreciate the effort.
2. You don't know this woman's phone habits just yet. Is she a big texter, or does she prefer calls? Is an hour or two for her to get back to you via text an average time for her, or is it slow or fast? I ideally like to ask a woman what her preferred form of communication is, and then I either call or text based on her feedback to me. When I don't know, I default to calling because it takes more effort and makes a bigger impression.
3. She was the more forward one, asking if you wanted to exchange numbers. Then, you waited 3 days before texting her, perhaps because you were expecting her to make the next move as well. Given this situation, she may think you aren't that interested. Simply put, it is YOUR turn to be bold and move things along. She's put herself out there so to speak. She probably doesn't want to text with you forever, if she's interested she wants to see you again.
If you like this girl, I'd definitely take the chance to call her and ask her out.
Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (12 November 2011):
 I agree with honeypie. If you want to get to know her better, call her and ask her out. I think continuing to text will just set you up for more opportunities for misconstruing your meaning. Texts do not convey body language or tone of voice, so she may have thought you had something else going on.
Dispel any doubts she may have by calling her up and asking her out. On a proper date, for dinner or some other ordinary date activity. Maybe sign up for 2 at a cooking class? If she's interested in that, it's a nice way to see her doing something she loves and shows you are considerate.
Good luck, Jason.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 November 2011):
 A LOT random with that last text and honestly, if you want to get to know her, don't text her in the middle of the night.
You want to get to know her? Pick up the phone and call her, ask her out for a movie or coffee, but stop trying to "get" to know her via text.
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (12 November 2011):
 Your last text was abit random i must admit. But for me it wouldn't freak me out at all.
She's ovbiously a busy person if it takes her hours at a time to reply to a text, so i really wouldn't over think this matter to much.
Just said her another text asking her how she is. If she replys then everythings cool and maybe you should arrange to meet up again.
If she doesn't reply it could be that she isn't that into you. But try not to be disheartned as i am sure there will be more opportunitys for you in the future.
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