A
male
age
36-40,
*eoloverboy23
writes:Hey Agony Aunts! Well, I have this serious problem. I am involved with two girls, but they don't know that I am with both of them. One of the girls is more secretive and has hide a lot of things from me(even though she was a very nice girl), while the other is very open and honest with me (although sometimes she acts childish, but she has a big heart and really cares about me). Just a few minutes ago, I talked to the secretive girl and she says that she missed me and that she really loved me, but in the past she has been asking so much about money to help her out, and it made me believe she was a scammer. I told her the hard truth that I was involved with the other girl and that I really loved her. She got mad and I got sad that I told her the truth because I wanted to be honest and I hated hurting her like that. I have told the other girl, who is my girlfriend that I'm am committed to, about this issue, and although she too got mad, she really cared bout me and still wanted to be with me. I really cared about them both because I'm a compassionate guy, but in truth it made me a cheater (even though I never kissed them because they were online girlfriends). I wanted to know if I did the right thing by telling the secretive girl and the other girl the truth?
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male
reader, Neoloverboy23 +, writes (17 October 2009):
Neoloverboy23 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I truly appreciate those points that were made out about my situation and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I realize that the truth can be hurtful, but it's for our own good. I will keep that in mind.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (17 October 2009):
I agree with the other points. Read them.
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A
male
reader, empty-1 +, writes (17 October 2009):
Gotta agree with Grimm. Truth works in ways that nothing else will. Sure, it can be difficult, unpleasant, and even downright painful. However, any issue in which the truth could cause pain, believe me, from experience I know that lies will only cause all the more pain.Life sometimes hands us very difficult situations. We, as a species, are easily confused, vulnerable, and given to action before thought. These traits put us into no end of trouble. Seems to me that before you realized you were in trouble, you had already fallen backwards into a ver difficult, and likely fraught with pain, guilt, and all sundry forms of damage to go around.However, you had the wherewithall to look at those facts and say "aww, hell, I screwed up!" then you did exactly what is demanded of that realization, you took concrete steps to fix it! That, sir, is the true mark of manhood, if ever there was one!By coming clean, and telling both of the other people who would be in a position to be injured by your lack of foresight, you have not caused more damage. Insetad, you have only made the rest of the injured parties aware of the injuries they have already suffered at your thoughtless hands. That is commendable, and takes strength. Lying, on the other hand, would very likely have been detected at some point. Once that happens, the original damage is still there, but there is shattered trust, egos break, and people begin to question their own self worth in ways that they would not have.Yes, Grimm is dead on... You did EXACTLY the appropriate thing!
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (17 October 2009):
 YES...
Young man, the truth hurts, but it is always the best thing in the end.
I don't care if they were online or not. It is always better to be honest...even if it is brutally, than to lie. Because lies hurt even more in the end.
You did the right thing.
If you don't believe me, look around this forum at some of the posters who have held lies sometimes for years and had them blow up in their face. Yes the truth hurts, but you will never have this blow up in your face because you told the truth.
People never like to hear the truth....I can tell you that first hand, especially here...look at my ratings!!!! LMAO!
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