A
female
age
36-40,
*ady Green
writes:Dear All,It seems I am having a dilemma.I have recently met a guy over a month ago. It started as me trying to be friendly with a guy in our hiking group as no one really talked to him. I didn't start to fall for him until the third meeting where we got connected. We talked more and soon, we keep texting each other. We share pictures of our interests or just about anything. Sharing each other's locations (both work and home). It all went super well. He even waited for me after the hiking and we stayed back while others went back.Honestly, I am head over heels for this guy. He is exactly what I always hope for - not a perfect guy, but perfect enough to make me feel like a lady (he is a gentleman) and secure.The problem is, since last week, he had slowed down. Most times he replied my texts, sometimes he did not. I can feel the distance and the difference he is becoming towards me. So, right now, although there was nothing happen between us yet, we didn't even go out together (except we both kept hinting each other about wanting to go and watch a movie), I still feel hurt and disappointed. Was I imagining things these whole time? Or did I came too strong that I made him freaked out?Either way, I am confused and hopefully someone out here can help me figure it out and advice me what to do..Thanks.PS : I think it is relevant to mention that we have different race and religion, also that i am 5 yrs older than him.
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female
reader, Lady Green +, writes (14 April 2015):
Lady Green is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi,
Been almost a year sine i last post the question. I am happy to let you both know that we both end up being close friends.. He is my hiking buddy who always look after me..
Thank you to both of you for helping me out last year.. truly appreciate it :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2014): If you suspect you've come on too strong then the only thing you can do is to back off. If anything is gonna happen then this is the hardest part of making it happen - but by doing nothing, you create a space for him to take a breather and miss you and decide if he wants to proceed. As it stands, it seems like you made the greater effort initially and this usually always makes a difference - he may be feeling slightly out of control or pressured. By not communicating him you are sending a message of "it's okay, I get it, take time out" - think of it as a bit of a test. It's very, very common for men to do this but if you pressure him you will blow any chance for sure. When he does contact you, don't "jump at it" - be friendly, definitely don't show any anger or whatever or he really will just jump ship entirely - but be a bit more elusive and vague than you have been up until now.
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A
male
reader, RevMick +, writes (28 May 2014):
 Hi Lady Green,
It's a tough call to make about coming off as too strong. Some men will run at the mere hint of a date, others will run if kids are mentioned etc.
I would tend to think that it was a bit of, sexting texting fun and maybe it's best that it's going away. Or it could be life getting in the way and he really likes you.
I don't think in today's day and age the religion or race make any difference. Heck I know men who have converted to Sikhism to be with their wife.
My only concern is, it's only been a month and you seem to have jumped in with both feet and landed in the deep end of the pool. Relationships take time.
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