A
female
age
26-29,
*hehuntison
writes:Ok, so there is this guy, A. We went to middle school together and then we both are in differnt high schools now. Right after 8th grade he texted me saying how much he liked me, and wanted to be with me, and I was rude to him and told him no, because he had a girlfriend at the time. On friday night i was with a bunch of friends and we were prank calling random people, and we ended up prank calling A. After, he texted my friend (we didnt use *67) and asked who was Earl, and Stephanie. (earl is my prank name.... idk how it started, and Stephanie is his cousin who also happens to be one of my best friends) Me and Stephanie decided to both text him and tell him it was us, and then we started texting. He was drunk, not that much, but just a little. He basically told me all the same things that he said in the summer, and he told me he really wanted to be with me, how pretty I am, etc. We texted the next day, also, then all of a sudden he stopped. Later that day i texted him again and he never responded. I thought that his mom might have taken his phone away if she found out he got drunk... but then I also wonder if he was just saying all of that because he was drunk. I have always heard that when u are drunk you tend not be afraid to express your real feelings, and tell the truth. Idk if i should text him in a couple days and just ask him if he still likes me or he just said everything because he was drunk. What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2011): Hey there little sister...I say go for it. Only a guy who is super duper totally wasted and has issues would say stuff that he didn't really mean while he is drinking. I highly doubt your friend is like that, so the chances are really high that he was speaking the truth!The fact that you are not at the same school makes it more interesting. It'll give you something to look forward to outside of school, and no akwardness if things were to go sour. So you're right. You have nothing to lose.I think you need to followup on your conversation with him and it's fine to take it slow to feel him out. Be friends with him. Don't throw yourself at him with over the top easiness, just pay attention to him. Be interested in things he's saying. Guys love to feel appreciated and worthy, like they're 'the man'. THANK HIM for whatever.. thank him for saying hi today. Thank him for making you laugh with his good joke. "I'm glad you.. whatever. Men love to be appreciated for the efforts they've made. Tell him it brightened your day that he thought of you or texted u. Tell him it brightened your day because... Sounds like he needs a little more confidence to say his true feelings when he is not drinking. His ego needs you to be very interested in things and he needs to feel sure that you like him before he goes out on a limb too.Be a nice supportive friend until he starts to advance to the flirting all over again. In the age of texting, having some intelligence combined with openness has caused me to have some real relationship building via text, with lasting results. Be smart in your texts. No one wants to talk to an idiot. Try to be funny sweet carefree calm and witty but not obnoxious. Texting will take you far my dear, and one day you just may land that in-person date you truly deserve! Good luck little sister!
A
female
reader, thehuntison +, writes (16 February 2011):
thehuntison is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all the answers! Especially you big sister! Ahahah that happened a couple weeks ago, and I haven't talked to him since. Should I text him really? I mean, we don't go to the same school, and most likely I won't see him anytime soon, so what's there to lose? Right? I'm not sure.
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A
male
reader, Birdman21 +, writes (8 February 2011):
As a guy whose seen his fair share of underage drinking, allow me to point out to the OP and the last poster that alcohol consumption among high school students is at an all time high. Something like 70% of high school juniors drink once a month or more, so if you date clean guys only you're seriously limiting your options. I am among that 70% and have a healthy relationship with my girlfriend, good grades, a fine social life. So being a drinker does not make you a loser.
If this guy told you he liked you when he was drunk, he means it. There's an old adage "A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts." from my 4+ years of being around intoxicated people, this rings pretty much true. So he meant it. Maybe you should text him. Girls don't take the initiative enough with that kind of stuff.
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A
female
reader, SweetSmoochy +, writes (8 February 2011):
 Firstly, how much do you want to date a guy who drinks? They're really not that great. This is coming from a girl who has dated her share.
Aside from that. If he's said he likes you a couple of times, you might as well give him a chance. Just don't rush into anything or lose your heart too quickly. Everything is temporary.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2011): Hey there little sister.... I'd like to give your cute little self a hug because it's like looking back at myself when I was your age, and seeing all the well deserving innocence of my precious youth. You have dozens of wonderful life changing experiences lined up ahead of you if not hundreds! I can promise you that without a doubt. Life is about finding yourself.... not just someone else. I haven't been a teenager in 15 years but I remember it well. It's always so tough when you really like someone and you want so badly for them to like you back. In our teen years, that is when we most desperately want and need to be loved and accepted. It's a fun time for searching for love if there is a good game of it going on. Chasing boys is one of my favorite past times with so many cherised memories. And having a couple good girlfriends to share it with make it even sweeter!Okay here it comes....the truth of it is this: The chances of you finding the one true love you will spend the rest of your life with, finding him NOW, ur chances are very slim. Virtually zero, as in, No- that's not going to happen for you this year and probably not anytime soon. What that leaves us with is this fact: Since you will not be with him forever, there is going to come a day when he won't be a part of your life anymore. That day could come soon or it could come next year or in 3 years. (unless you're best friends) But if he's a guy who you don't talk to much, my guess is you're not even that. And if you did ever hook up with him, exes rarely become true friends for life. So anyway you cut it, he's not always going to be there! Are you with me so far? So now... knowing that... just have fun with it! Every relationship you will ever have with a guy will always end. By his choice, by your choice, or by death. One of those three. I don't want to be so blunt with you but I'm doing it because I wish someone would have told me this when I was young. Maybe then I wouldn't have lost my virginity so young (15). Maybe I wouldn't have stayed with a boyfriend who treated me badly.Every guy you are ever going to be involved with will be a good learning experience for you and there is always the fun factor which is a plus! Sometimes it seems like we live for that kind of fun!! Enjoy it and savor it everytime it comes around, but don't dwell on this one guy when those fun moments have died out and passed.If a guy really truly wants to be with you, he will be there with you without a doubt in your mind. You won't have to question yourself about whether he likes or loves you. The kind of guy that you want to be with (trust me on this) is the guy who can handle communication with you and he will definitely communicate to you that he wants to be with you. That being said, the maturity it takes for a guy to be truly the kind of person we all deserver... well, it's going to take a few more years. That comes later for you my dear, so just take these fun times for what they're worth, and when they're done don't look back. Keep on living, keep your dignity and let him fade out.Another under-used piece of advice: "if a guy isn't calling you, he's just not that into you." Taken from the movie "He's Just Not That Into You" I highly recommend that movie, which is based off a book with the same title. You will love the movie. It's great!! Good luck with the dude, have fun with him, but don't bet your heart on him forever. Let people come and go from you life with the understanding that life keeps moving, you will always be okay even when you are the lonliest you've ever been. Being lonely is so much better than being with someone you love but who doesn't love you back in the way that you deserve to be loved.And with every person you date you are one guy closer to finding the right one. Good luck lil sister!
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