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female
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*.BrokenxHearts.x
writes:How can I be more confident in the bedroom?The only time I am confident in the bedroom is when I've had a few glasses of wine but I don't want to have to drink to feel sexy and confident I'm 20 years old and I want my man to go wild. He wants me to go to his in heels and a skirt so he can bend me over and do me over the couch - something simple and normal not extreme at all but I just don't feel confident enough to walk into this acting all sexy I'd actually feel stupid... How can I feel more confident? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2011): well, the gender known as males, are aroused by vision. this is one of his fantasies and it is something that you shouldn't be embarrased to do. he isn't thinking you're acting stupid he's going to be preoccupied with all of the things he'll want to do to you. trust me when i say this, you do not need to feel nervous. men are known for their strong desire for sex, and if you are doing something that really fires it up like fulfilling his schoolgirl fantasy then he's going to be the horniest you've ever seen him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2011): Confidence comes with experience and age. I'm 33 and when I was in my twenties I NEVER thought I'd be like the women in their thirties who say "I'd never want to be that young again..." and "My sex is so much better in my thirties" The thought of aging made me ill.Well,, I did like being young, but I gotta say I LOVE my sex in my thirties so much more. It's much better than my sex in my twenties could ever be. Not only do mature people have a slight edge in confidence and letting go of insecurities, we've also been there done that a whole lot more times. What I'm going to suggest to you is to allow youself to get that 'experience' going. You don't have to be as mature as myself to have good sex, but the experience is pretty essential for amazing sex. It doesn't just 'happen' sometimes. Your goal is to get beyond sex just 'happening'.I have ****ed so many times that I know what feels good to me, I know what positions I like, what ones guys like (they are not all the same, but I know a few tricks now that make any man moan). I love sex and every human should. I wish I could say I had one partner but I didn't. You can do this monogomously or with multiple partners. Me, I have played the game of cat and mouse so many times that I became very confident in my smiling, flirting, joking, batting my eyes, lowering my voice, and carrying that confidence to the bedroom. For me, multiple partners was a good thing. Very helpful.Experience in flirting (even with your monogomous partner repeated over and over again) will always help take us to the next level. And take that experience and confidence beyond flirting, 1st base, 2nd, 3rd .. the whole shabangshang.Experience experience experience is what will give you most long lasting confidence. Learn what YOU really like and keep on liking it. Allow yourself to enjoy a little bit more each time. Men don't get this- but when they nag about what they want ie what they aren't getting now it makes us even more self-concious. This happened to me whn I was 22. Our sex stopped. We lived together and we didn't even have sex. He wanted to bend me over the couch with a porn on. Heaven forbid! and I just wasn't that adventurous. It made me uncomfortable and as a result, I became overly self concious about what I was doing right or wrong already.So to avoid that, I urge you to get to know what YOU want and keep "allowing" yourself and "pushing" yourself just a liiiiittle bit each time. Try just one teensy weeensy little new thing. Like talking dirty with just one new word if that's all you can do. Let him take you in a different position under your own terms. Lights off? go ahead if that's how you prefer it for awhile. He won't like that, but just pretend your sleepy and start it after the lights are already down hahaTry something new: wake urself up and attack him in the middle of the night. Guys LOVE that.Every new thing you do will get you used to your own body. Also, do you masturbate? It's one of the healthiest things you can do for your own sexuality. Do it to explore the way you like things to be done. I've ****ed in all kinds of crazy places and developed my sexual self confidence, and I've masturbated enough to know when I want it fast, slow, soft, hard, whatever......The sex I've had gets better and better. I went from not wanting to do it in the living room on a couch with someone I loved, to being able to watch porn with my friend with benefits, be naked around him in broad daylight, giving great oral wearing knee high boots and lingerie, and have mindblowing multiple AND simultaneous orgasms that make me feel like I'm leaving this earth! Enjoying sex is gift that takes time to develop. With the right partner you can get better faster. Talking with a caring man about ur needs is good if he can appropriately handle that communication with u. If he's not communicating that well and helping you thru this but you want to stay with him it's okay just keep working on your self and do your best. Developing your great sex will make walking around in high heels and a mini skirt nothin' at all. That's the easy part after you know what you want and know how to get yours.OH AND IMPORTANTLY ----Trust me on this, no matter what your body looks like or feels like, he loves seeing you naked, he loves sexy outfits, heels, boots, boobies, and most of all, he loves seeing your FACE when you're getting it. It's a fact. Men look more at the woman's face when they watch porn rather than anything else. Confidence is a must for good sex, and the good news is, it's not out of reach for ANYONE. Good luck.
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