A
female
age
41-50,
*hymeagain
writes:Was it wrong of me to read my boyfriend emails. this is what happen my gut told me something was wrong with our 2.5 year relationship. I asked him and he said nothing and I was overreacting. I let it go for 4 days and knowing his passwords (which he gave me)I read an email he wrote to a girl who was on course with him last month, saying that we are taking a break (I had no idea) and he hope their plans they discussed about being together in the near future . I asked him about her and told him I read his email. His answer was I figure you were reading my emails so I set you up and asked her to reply and now we are broken. I have her phone number do I call her? Do I try to work things out with him or say you cheating jerk and walk away. I love him and hate him all at once.
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female
reader, raiders  +, writes (24 November 2010):
 I think he is a cheater and decide to turn the tables and blame you.
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (24 November 2010):
 Yes it was very wrong for you to read his emails. That is a huge violation of trust. What you found may or may not have been planned but since he decided it was enough to walk away then that's all that matters.
I'd venture that you actually caught him planning on cheating or setting up something for when he broke up with you soon and this was his way of throwing it back in your face. Pretty slick. I think you should be glad that this relationship is over and move on.
Also, don't go through people's phone or emails. That's very untrusting and is a deal breaker to many people. I wouldn't tolerate it and I would have nothing to hide.
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A
male
reader, alternaterealities +, writes (24 November 2010):
 I have done this myself in the past. Your gut feelings are not usually wrong. And I know all too well it's not about being a snoop or freely breaking trust, it's about silencing the fears screaming in your head.
Have you done anything to make him think you were snooping though? Those feelings can drive us to behave very irratically. If so, he may be telling you the truth if he feels you've been being invasive. (Only you can truthfully answer this.)
If you've done nothing of any sort to make him think you were poking in his private matters, that he has no reason but to trust you and your commitment 100%, then I think he's probably turning this around on you and very well may have been planning to cheat.
Was it just one message? Or were there several? And since you broke trust, I hope you went all the way and looked in his mobile texts for evidence. (Not that I'm encouraging the idea, but if you are going to go to this extreme, next time do it right.) Also don't confront someone too quickly. You find out all you can and with the sweetest manners you can muster hit him with it all at once.
Again, only you can really know if he had reason to set you up or not. But don't distrust your gut either.
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A
female
reader, ImogenLD  +, writes (24 November 2010):
It sounds to me that your boyfriend is not the nicest of boys what ever happened as he is either a cheater or on the other hand he is willing to hurt you so badly to prove a point. For me I think he had not set you up how would he know you were going to check his emails, he is most liking just trying to cover his tracks and I bet you if he hasn't already soon he will change his email password. I think you should walk away from this he is trying to play you and you shouldn't stand for it. Also even if he somehow proves he had just set you up do you really want to be with someone who would rather hurt you than just talk about your problems. My advice leave this boy before you get really hurt.
Hope everything works out
Imogen x
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