A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:okay so last night (christmas) i went over my bestfriends house...(its a boy) and we were kissing.....so it led to touching then it led to clothes coming off...next thing i know he's on top of me....i'm still a virgin (i think) so when he puts it in I tell him to stop because it hurts so bad...so he tries to finger me to loosin me up but that hurted too...so he tries to put it in again....he got further but it still was hurting...and he could tell it was so he ask me did i want him to stop...so i said yeah...so we put our clothes back on and i went to the bathroom...and there was a little bit of blood. not alot....just like 3 or 4 spots...little spots....did he pop my cherry? or am i still a virgin? i asked him did he go all the way in and he said no....not even half way....please help
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2009): Typical Americans, Lol I can't believe some of the fecked up answers on here.Firstly. That idiot telling you not to listen to your mother and to listen to your father is just out to cause pain and suffering to people. And the person who mentions your boyfriend being a "technical" sex offender is the same. Why can't you americans have common sense.Clearly you were both having fun, he DID NOT take advantage of you. He was even nice enough to stop when he saw you in pain. When a guy loves a girl, he doesn't like to see her in pain if it is true love. And this guy sounds genuine.As for your stupid laws in America for underage sex, ffs if it's that bad and you both like each other, and you are sensible. Just don't tell anyone who is likely to call the police. Because ruining someones life just because you were both having fun, is unfair.As long as you are both sensible, and USE PROTECTION.If you need to talk to someone about it, talk to your Doctor as your doctor is not allowed by law to tell your parents or police anything.And if you are unfortunate not to have that common law in your so called "land of the free" then like I said already, do not ruin his life with a criminal record. So TELL NO ONEAnd as for virginity. Sorry huni, you are no longer a virgin. In America you speak English. English comes from ENGLAND not America. So I sugesst that if you want the English Definition of "Virgin" then look up the "Oxford English Dictionary" online. For the word "Virgin"If you want the proper meaning of the word Virgin, (Old Hebrew - the language used at the time Jesus (Emmanuelle) was born.Take note, this religious mistake has caused anyone who believes in a "Religion" to be brainwashed with time and lost languge translation.MARY was not a VIRGIN. GOD is not the father, Joseph is.VIRGIN in old hebrew means "YOUNG WOMAN"Which is what mary was.So to answer your question, the Correct English meaning of the word "Virgin" - he entered your vagina with his penis. You are no longer a "Virgin"The true meaning - well, you are still young. And you are not married. So therefore you are still a Virgin, but not in the way you want to think of youself as one unfortunately as you are now "UNCLEAN" (not dirty).But use your brains, and PROTECTION. And anyway nowadays with any women who use tampons, vibrators, dildos, fingers. Etc can easily break the hymen without even being close to a penis. So your hymen and virginity in the English sense have nothing to do with each other.Thank you and hope you take my adviceDuncan McLarenFrom Scotland in the UK.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2009): no. he may have ripped it but it will heal and so yes ur still a virgin
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2009): Hey little one,
I know everyone here is trying to say that you are no longer a virgin, but I say to hell with them all!
You prob. stopped because you didn't want to have sex with him in the first place and something held you back. Go with your intuition, don't let people judge you so badly or make you feel immoral, the guy wanted to have sex with you, we don't know if he loves you or plans on marrying you or really cares for you. He may be using you to get sex, if he is not yet able to support you, I would keep him off you and until you know for sure that he is interested in having a serious relationship with you don't give him any sex.
Don't tell mom that you both almost had sex. Tell your dad about what happened, tell him just like it is and don't be afraid because daddy wants the best for you, not all of these female readers who are prob. jealous of your virginity and so they all want to make you feel bad.
Tell daddy, don't be afraid, he knows men better than mommy does and he'll set everything straight.
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A
female
reader, the1st1 +, writes (30 December 2008):
it doesnt matter how far in he went, even just a little, you lost your virginity. but the good thing is, that he didnt pop your cherry, if he did then there wouldnt be just a few spots, it would be like a puddle(trust me).. you probably ripped! if it was only a few spots then you didnt rip much, but thats most likely why!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2008): Yes, you've lost your virginity. It doesn't matter how deep inside of you he was, if he was inside of you even if just a little bit then you were having sex and are no longer a virgin. If you were not having your period, the blood (and pain) was because he was penetrating your hymen. The next time might, and probably will, hurt if it wasn't broken enough but it should feel nicer. If you have sex again please be sure to use a condom. Even with the little that you did, and even if he didn't ejaculate in you, pre-cum can contain sperm and you can get pregnant. So be smart.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2008): i think, it may be because it was your period .i mean mensuration.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2008): Geez whats up with everyone!! She asks a plain question and most of you go on about the legal age and how young she is. Simple answer is your question is your not a virgin anymore.
Curiosity will always get the best of us all and it's the only way to learn. Good to see that your boyfriend listened to you and stopped. But the pain is not forever and yes you do bleed a little after your first and even second time. Play it safe and use a condom if you decide to do it again.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008): if you're not sure what happened down *there*, go to a doctor to check it out ... but to be concerned whether you're a virgin or not, after those stunts? LOL, you must be joking ... :))
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008): As I'm in the United States I know for certain that there is no state that has the age of consent set at 15. Therefore what you did was very illegal and your boyfriend could be going to jail, even if he is your age. This is why your parents tell you to wait until you are either married or in a committed adult relationship to have sex -- your boyfriend is now technically a *sex offender*. I'm not trying to scare you, but it is true by federal standards.
Furthermore, because he entered you (even a little) you are no longer even a "technical virgin", let alone a virgin. If he didn't go inside of you, but you did something else sexual, you would be a "technical virgin", but because you did have some form of vaginal intercourse you have lost your virginity. I'm sorry, and I hope you will be more careful in the future, when you are able to without the risk of putting him in jail.
The good news is, because (from what you are telling us) he didn't ejaculate the chances of getting pregnant from that encounter are slim. The bad news is, chances are he's slept around before which means he could have given you a sexually transmitted disease, if you didn't use a condom.
Please keep us posted on this one. That was a great way to ruin an otherwise magical Christmas, if you ask me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2008): It does hurt at first and it does sometimes bleed - it's life I'm afraid! And first time sex can be really painful, whatever age you lose your virginity! What's the age of consent where you are? Mail me and we'll talk more.
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A
female
reader, SoftlyCaress  +, writes (26 December 2008):
 Sorry Babe He took your virginity so no more a virgin once you let someone invade your vagina its all over . You are way young to be having sex you really need to think this out .. Life has just begun for you and you would be just in a heap of trouble if you got pregnant so i would wait sometime before i though of sex...
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A
male
reader, a_decent_1  +, writes (26 December 2008):
 And i read you are 13 - 15 years old.. WHY CAN'T YOU KIDS WAIT.. As i keep on saying again and again IT PAINS LIKE HELL AT THIS AGE.. Wait for 3 years atleast..
G'day
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A
male
reader, a_decent_1 +, writes (26 December 2008):
Virginity has got nothing to do with popping the cherry.. If entered you, you're no more a virgin..
As far as your hymen is concerned, it bleeds much more than that when the hymen breaks.. He might have split the hymen a little or might have scratched your vagina in the process which lead to the little bleeding..
Please understand that virginity has got nothing to do with breaking of hymen or bleeding.. Some girls don't even bleed a drop when they have sex for the first time.. Virginity is broken as soon as you make a sexual intercourse attempt..
G'day
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A
male
reader, Arianz  +, writes (26 December 2008):
 Dear, It depends how much he put inside.If he put at least half of him then its done...U bleed so i think he did it well...U better talk to any doctor for check.take care of ur health.arianz
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (26 December 2008):
If he put his penis in your vagina then you are no longer a virgin.
From the sounds of it, you two were having sex. Even if you didn't get very far with it, you had sex.
You are no longer technically a virgin. I hope you used a condom.
Sorry. Perhaps you might like to wait for a couple of years before you try again.
Good Luck!! xx
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