A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend usually takes around 10-15 minutes to orgasm. But the other day he came over after meeting with a girl and when I tried to give him oral sex.. he said his penis was sore... so he wanted just normal sex.. but once we had sex he orgasmed in less than a minute. This has never happened in the one year that we have dated. Is it reasonable to suspect that he might have had sex before coming over with that girl? He admits to have cheated on his ex-girlfriend but says he has grown up and will never do that to me but I still have trust issues.
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ex girlfriend, his ex, oral sex, orgasm Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2010): Thank you for the response guys!
The reason I suspect him is because I have had trust issues growing up and not because of something he did during our relationship. He has been the perfect selfless, loving caring guy and I haven't noticed him showing interest in anyone else. But somehow when I found out about his past I couldn't get over it, but he tells me that he had been immature and feels immensely guilty and he says he wasn't really into his ex-girl friend anymore so he justified it in his mind that it was ok to sleep with another girl. But he says he won't do it again even if he stopped having feelings for me. He would rather break-up with me than be unfaithful. Since he has had a perfect track record till now..I gave him a second chance...
But just it keeps bothering me and as much as I try to tell myself that I can trust him..because of what happened in my childhood I keep suspecting him. what if he is fooling me so successfuly like one of the anonymous reader's boyfriend above did.
Yes I know its difficult to come so quickly the second time but I suspected he had been stimulated in some way before and not necessarily comed and that is why he comed so easily in less than a minute. Because trust me in an year of our relationship he has never comed so easily. He is circumcised and it takes ages for him to orgasm. Only time he comed quicky was when I gave him an oral job before then too it took him like 2-3 minutes to climax.
I don't want to confront him because I've had bitter discussions with him already over my trust issues and he is sick and tired of me bringing it up all the time. He has a point since he hasn't done anything to me, everything he did was before he met me and it was his first long relationship.
A
male
reader, Beingblack  +, writes (4 February 2010):
 Hang on, this all sounds a little strange. Is there more to tell?
Why was he meeting a girl? What sort of meeting was it? Was it innocent? Was it a date? If you have trust issues, why didn't you go with him?
As soon as he walks in the door, what, you are on your knees trying to give him head because you don't trust him? You want immediate sex because you dont trust him?
Why would his penis be sore? Did you and he have sex for hours the day before?
There are far too many intagibles for anyone to give a sensible answer. If you are trying to convince yourself that he is cheating, thats up to you. Why not simply tell him what would make your trust increase?
Don't meet girls. Don't come quickly. Take 10-15 minutes.
Don't ever have a sore penis.
He is your boyfriend. Communicate with him.
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A
female
reader, Carrot2000  +, writes (3 February 2010):
 I agree with Caringguy. Men usually take longer to cum the second time around, so the fact that he came quickly suggests that he did not have sex with the girl before seeing you.
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A
female
reader, Keyshantasy  +, writes (3 February 2010):
 We women have very good intuition. You know your boyfriend better than anyone so IF you feel there is something not right go with it. His penis is sore? Is it possible she gave him oral?, then in some kind of sick way he orgasmed early because he was aroused by the thought of what he just did-IF he did in fact have sex with another woman. I mean it really does'nt indicate he did but I mean what were his actions-WAS HE FIDGETY-DID HE SEEM TO BE IN ANOTHER PLACE(MENTALLY)? afterwards? It's hard to really tell and it would really suck if you accused him and nothing happened so I would look more into and if you still have doubts,just know----- WHAT YOU DO IN THE DARK WILL COME TO LIGHT---EVENTUALLY. Hope this helps;~}
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2010): I went with a man for 5 years and he had been married, I did not even suspect he was cheating till his wife rang me after about 6 months, I left him and they finished. He then came back to me but I could never forgive him. One really drunken night I had sex with his friend. the most uinforgivable of sins. We continued to see each other and he started seeing someone else and never told me, I had my suspicions but when it came to sex I never noticed any change. I always think a gut feeling is nearly always the right feeling. I suspected him at the very start and it has left new relationships impossible. I would bite the bullet and ask him
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2010): Huh ?? Fortunately men orgasms are different than womens, why are you comparing woman's orgasm's to men's ??
Once men ejaculate,,it takes longer the 2nd, 3rd, etc times.
Women on the other hand, have a much easier time orgasming quicker and easier after they have orgasmed the 1st time.
Kind of new to Men and how their bodies work ??? Your logic is unreasonable.
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A
female
reader, xxxsabsxxx +, writes (3 February 2010):
i think you need to confront him about this. ask him, but ask rationally and dont seem too desperate or distraught. you need to be honest otherwise i dont think the relationship will work. when asking him tell him the reasons you feel this way, and would prefer to make sure he didnt do anything with this girl than living with the thought that he may have done. how he reacts to your questioning i dont think abyone can give you advice about, you'll have to just judge the situation yourself when it comes to it. if he says he didnt cheat, then you should believe him, because a relationship doesnt work without trust and you will only end up losing him. xx
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 February 2010):
I do't think he did. He came too quickly I think. If a guy has sex before, chances are he won't want sex after and he won't come that quickly. Clearly if there is any other proof though, then be aware. But if it's just that, it's unlikely.
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