A
female
age
51-59,
*attie70
writes:ive just been clearing some memory on my laptop when i came across a history of conversation that went on between my husband and a ex friends daughter who is 17 my hubby is 37 he had an affair over 10 years ago and pronmised he would never do it again i must admit i never fully beleived him looks like i was right he has also been paying her for blow jobs and hand shakes after i read it i told him i felt something was not right and he promised me nothing would ever happen again and i shoould trust him trouble is i know what i know and want him to admit it before i have to say something he even swore on our kids lives and even on our dead daughters memory that it would never happen what should i do we have been married for 20 years.
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affair, blow-job Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2008): Here's what you do. Print out the conversation, and then permanently delete it off the computer. Mail the printed conversation to him at his office/work. Do not make any comments on it, and do not put your return address. If your country requires a return address to mail letters, rent a postal box, and use that address. Then wait and see what your husband does, after you know he received the letter. He will know that someone knows about his illicit relationship, and he will probably get stressed out over the matter. Try talking to him at this point, and try to get him to tell you what is bothering him. It is better, if he admits to his infidelity on his own. If he will not bring it up, he will not bring it up. You will need to decide if you can live with him as the man he is. You cannot change him.
A
female
reader, Devilish Angel  +, writes (16 September 2008):
 All I can say is that you have done all you can do at this point in time. You have confronted him. You have told him to stop it. Just wait, listen, and watch. If there is incriminating evidence that he does go on and cheat on you with the chick, leave him. If he wants to throw twenty years down the drain, its his decision.
Meanwhile, try not to hurt too much. I understand how you feel and I hope that he makes the right decision for you, your marriage, and your kids.
Sincerely,
X
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A
female
reader, blackROSE1916 +, writes (16 September 2008):
I believe the fact he is online with a 17yr old, who seems to need money, and is offering her services. And that you pretty much feel he will or would take her up on it is illegal where I am from, but your feelings come first! He is responsible for his actions, not the 17yr old girl~ underage in this circumstance.
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A
female
reader, blackROSE1916 +, writes (16 September 2008):
You know the truth~ you have the evidence right there! And he had an affair before, then what you found and read! I don't believe he is going to change, but print it off and confront him! I am not saying give up on your marriage, but love & respect yourself b/c life is to short, & intimacy and sex is something a man & wife shares alone. For some but can you really forgive let alone forget!
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A
female
reader, hattie70 +, writes (15 September 2008):
hattie70 is verified as being by the original poster of the question As far as i can make out from the conversation they have not had sex yet as she was to nervous it looks like she needs money and asked if my hubby would be willing to pay for services and he has jumped at the chance also he asked if there was gona be round 2 and she said defo so im not sure if he seduced her or the other way round or if it was just a proposition that he could not resist thats not an excuse for him to do it just thought it would clear up the affair bit he did have an affair 10 years ago with another woman not this girl obviously but i know he wants to take it further with her when she is ready to as its in the text i read.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2008): If he had an affair with a 17 year old girl, then the consequences are his and his alone to suffer.Confront him with the conversation and tell him you are going to the girl's father (and make sure you actually do that too, no point using empty threats here).Tell him you gave him his second chance and he used it to cheat again. And that no matter how much the girl tempted him, he CHOSE to respond how he did and that sealed his fate.Destroy him. Let him pick up his own life, his own shattered pieces, and make of it what he will.Flynn 24
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