A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am employed part time. I am also self employed in two other jobs. I don't have any qualifications or experience in a particular industry so I don't get paid a huge amount. My partner works full time. He has fifteen years experience in his line of work and all of the certificates you can get. He gets a really good salary and overtime paid at a ridiculous amount. The thing is, on weekends he will ask how much money I have got and then ask me to pay for something. I pay half the rent, shopping and bills and he seems to pick away at what I have leftover. He says if I run out of money I can ask him for some, but I don't like to do that and never have, and it seems like he knows it, and covers himself by saying it. If he buys me something he seems to ask me to pay for more, almost like he's balancing his books and then he will say to me how generous he is. He comes home from work and his day will stop that minute, he does absolutely nothing unless it’s for himself every evening and weekend. I cook the dinner, clean, wash up, tidy up, do the laundry, literally everything, and he will make himself breakfast and leaves the mess for me to wash up. I can spend a whole day running around on my feet all day and be right in the middle of it when he comes home from work and he will ask me if I have had a chilled out day! He does not seem to acknowledge anything that I do! I've tried to talk to him but I feel like he knows what he's doing, but just doesn’t care. He said his last girlfriend took the mickey out of him financially, but after all these years he must know that I'm not like that, but quite the opposite.I want to save up this year but I just can't see it happening. I wanted to get some money behind me, so that I could support myself if we split up. He treated me quite badly through the first, second, and third years of our relationship. The last time we nearly split up was because he was counseling a pregnant woman who had been married to his best mate for 8 months behind everyone's back. His best mate was one of his longest friends, and he met this woman through his best mate. She texted my boyfriend late at night and he lied and said it was someone else. He used to pop in and see her during the day while he was supposed to be at work and she would slag her husband - his best mate off to him. When I found the texts, he told me that he was "helping" her - I just thought so much for your best mate - because that's who I would be supporting. It turned out that she was having an affair with another guy and although my boyfriend talked to him on the phone once he stopped him after that. He said he couldn't be bothered getting involved in that trouble and hasn't spoken to him since! That was the year I needed surgery to remove a pre-cancerous tumour - (he seems to feel the need to act like every girl’s night in shining armor! I don't know if he really has changed or if he has just gotten sneakier. I know he lies to me. Just recently he finished work, parked up, and disappeared for an hour before coming home and said he had only just pulled up. Did he go to the pub for a pint - or was he "helping" another woman in need?
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male
reader, firstlovelastlove  +, writes (22 February 2011):
 From what I've read I don't understand why you, or any woman for that matter, would want to be with this guy. Unless I'm missing something he is sneaky and selfish.
"Did he go to the pub for a pint - or was he "helping" another woman in need?" My vote isn't for him going to the "pub". And quite frankly I don't think he helps anybody except himself.
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