A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok so this may be a bit confusing but here it goesMy fiancee and i have been dating for 10 and 1/2 months and we've hit this "rut" and we are always fighting ALOT and hes wanted to end it or a while but he wont and he says he cant because he loves me too much and there's this girl hes interested in and she likes him too and while we were on our break this past week he was going to go out with her but didn't. did he feel guilty or just not interested anymore?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008): Not confusing at all, hun. To answer your question.. we don't know why he didn't go out with her. Maybe he asked her and she said 'no'? Maybe he did feel guilty...maybe he does love you and wants to be true to you. You have to ask him that. But for him fiancee is even be 'thinking' of dating another female, then why on earth are you both even thinking of marriage? He's simply not ready for that type of committment, hun. Marriage is 'not' a game to be taken lightly it's a very serious committment.
The problem could be, you both are a tad too young for such a serious relationship. Your fiancee sounds like he's just not into this 'engaged' scenario anymore. And that sometimes happens with young people. The right reasons to get married are: You are in love with one another; you have a strong, strong desire to share your life with another; to have a lifetime companion; and you have a mature realistic expectation and a willingness to fulfill one another's needs and desires. Wrong reasons to get married are: Want to be free from parents; To have sex; To ease loneliness; To be happy; To be an adult, when one isn't yet; Because you love him and he is supposed to love you, but wants to date others...so that tells me he's hedging bigtime, on this huge committment..
So fe fair..be honest to your fiancee and yourself. Rethink this engagement. Go and get your thoughts in order and make a decision about where you are going in your life and with whom you want to be with. Get educated, get a lucrative career underway, live on your own, pay your own bills, buy a car...do what it takes to be a self-sufficient, independant young woman, first. Get your life on the go...empower YOUR life, first, gain insight. And then that's when you think about marriage and family. Hopefully when you are about 10-15 years old that you are now, hun.
Hate to say this but truthfully??? I think he wants and needs to "sow some wild oats" before settling down. If so, he will do that. And perhaps, you should do the same thing. Good luck my dear and take care, sweety
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008): You have to ask yourself if you are happy in this reltionship. I think you should take a step back and have a look at what you two have.
If you decide that you want to continue in this relationship, you should pluck up the courage to talk things over and go in for a passionate night to inflame the relationship.
I do think he is still interested, but also felt a bit guilty at the same time, because he knows how much you love him and he obviously cares about you.
However if you think that the relationship has hit a dead end, I advise you to take a break in which you can mull over your feelings for eachother.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008): I looked at the ages, and if that is correct, I want to suggest, you both slam on breaks. I personally think you are to young to be engaged, and with all the confusion, conflict and problems you seem to experience, call it off.
GO your seperate ways. Get to know more people.
Be strong and move On!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, bammy  +, writes (18 June 2008):
 hey when boys hit a certain age they get hormonal like us too...the guy is probably very confused. try giving him a bit of space then talk to him at a level that you both acutally listen to eachother because if you don't communicate properly you'll never understand eachother. try pick a right time & place & chat calmly best of luck x
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