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Did he ever love me???

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 February 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 19 February 2011)
A female Austria age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I am in love with a married man. We started our relationship like a normal one, i knew he is divorced, i live with him during his wife was in another country. I fall in love with him, and according with him he fall in love with me. After one year of relation, i found out that he was not divorced and the wife just had the second baby. I confront him with this, he try lie that is not his baby but in the end addmited that he is just separate of his wife but he must stay with her because of the children. we broke, then he insist during some months to get back together, coming in my home during the night, and he fooled me again. We start again a relation,which finish in 2 months because i didn't saw any future for it. We continue talking just by phone.

After 3 months we broke, i found out that his wife return to the country. I was destroyed, i never called him and he also didn't do it during 9 months, and then he call again, because his wife left again in another country, because she doesn't like to live in my country. In all the time she was here, she lived in the house i staied with him. We meet again, i told him i love him but i want to be with him in a normal relation, and i want he divorce, but he said he doesn't have any solution now because of his small kids.

Now i end this, i don't answer to him at calls, but i suffer, i want him, and i don't know if he really loved me, and if he do why he don't divorce. I am a divorced women because i wanted , with a kid and with career and i don't see a big issue in divorcing. How i do to forget him?

View related questions: divorce, get back together, married man

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2011):

He’s a coward. Divorce is scary but it's not the end of the world, as you yourself are proof. Divorce is a chance to make a better life for yourself and move on from a hurtful previous marital situation. Marriage controls and restricts your life like nothing else, so being married or not married to someone is a big thing.

Life does go on after divorce. He's just scared of the process. He's afraid of his wife's reactions. He's afraid of what people will say about him. He's afraid of not having the comfort of 24-hour access to his kids. He's afraid to downgrade his lifestyle from losing money.

You don't want a man who's so weak and so filled with fear that he would rather live dishonestly and sacrifice his honor and integrity by having/continuing an affair rather than face a divorce to make things honest and legal. He's so weak and filled with fear that he's rather live the life of a liar and hurt his wife dishonestly than to hurt her honestly and let her move on. Think of him as a coward, because that's what he is. You don't want to be with a coward. They don't make good husbands, as he has already proven.

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A male reader, nononsense United States +, writes (18 February 2011):

The guy is married. You will find someone else, but you have to take the first step and not contact him or let him contact you. Walk away, this man will not divorce for you.

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