A
female
age
30-35,
*enelle.
writes:Okay.. I don't even know where to begin . Well im 17 years old almost 18 and when i met this boy when i had just turned 16 in 2009. I liked him and he said he liked me so we started dating, but i found out his ex was having his baby, but i tried to look past that and continued our relationship.. One night we had sex and he was my first, but a week later he moved away so we broke up we talked after that for a little while but then his ex had the baby and things changed.. because his parents took his phone away and his babymamma ended up moving in with them.. well she ended up moving out later on and one day he had got his cousins phone and was texting me.. well they were still dating at the time and he cheated on her with me :( and about two days later they broke up. and he moved away again not to long after.. and we started talking again but then we stopped, and well he ended up moving back and but by that time i was over him or so i though now just recently he started texting me again and we have been dating for two weeks now. I was scared to go back out with him but he said he changed a lot and i mean i want to believe it but after he hurt me before im just scared to. His sister told me he changed alot before me and him started talking and when i hung out with him the other day he seemed like he did but i dont know. His ex has another boyfriend now and i dont think they really talk unless its about the baby.. but what do i do ? im just scared to get hurt again and i dont want to be wasting my time .. and someone said if they are willing to cheat on someone with you then they will cheat on you .. do you think its true ? :[ im just going crazy and i, so confused. I don't want to lose him but maybe its for the best? and it sucks because ive had to hide that me and him are dating because my mother doesnt like him for things i told her about him in the past but even if he has really changed she would probably never give him a chance.. and just because he has a kid she wouldnt want me dating him but i really do like him A LOT. any advice ?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2011): It's really hard to say whether he has changed or not. If you feel really unsure about this, I say don't jump into the relationship. Like you said, you don't want to end up getting hurt again and now is the time to take a step back and internalize (the best to your ability) why you like this guy. His EX has no right to tell you to not date him just because they had a baby together. My question is, why would you want to be with a boy who is not responsible in his actions? Maybe I'm just strong-willed but I wouldn't bother getting into a relationship that someone can't act like an adult. My advice? Take care of your heart and DON'T get involved in this relationship anymore. It's going to hurt you and you may regret it. Take care of yourself because your heart is very vulunerable right now.
A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (19 February 2011):
Keeping a relationship with him won't be easy. Even if your relationship works and you get married. It will always be harder with him. Because he will have to maintain his child too. Besides your own house and the children you may have in the future.
You say he's changed but that is up to what his sister told you. If you don't know for sure he has changed, I recommend you to move on and date someone else. Someone new, hopefully with a less intricate life. Of course, there is never a warranty that the next one will be better. But this one is already into trouble. And you are 17, you have plenty of time to know other people and love them A LOT MORE than you love him. Trust me, I have lived 17 years more than you.
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