A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:In the past month, I've been developing an attraction for a classmate of mine who I'm pretty sure likes me back. I'd really appreciate someone's opinion so I'm not so confused about what is currently going on. For starters, when I walk into the classroom, anything he was doing before suddenly becomes uninteresting and he starts to devote all of his attention to me. He asks me how I'm doing and if I'm feeling alright. He knows about my ongoing struggle with depression and self-harm, so it makes sense that he would want to know how I am. When he's talking to me, he often puts his hand on my shoulder and looks at me deeply. When I'm talking, he always leans in to make sure I know he's completely listening to me. He tells me all the time that I smell good, and he sometimes smells my lip balm because it smells nice (kind of odd, kind of flattering). He likes to touch my belongings, mainly to get my attention. He also does silly things to make me smile or laugh, which always works. He used to blush and look away when I would catch him staring at me, but now when I see him looking at me, I glance back at him and he holds my gaze for several seconds, and he gives me a sweet smile and waits until I look away. The moment feels kind of special, like we're sharing something personal. Lately he's gotten bolder by sitting with me during lunch break and talking to me about anything that comes to mind. I've told him some more personal things (two large tragedies in my life that I don't want to share), and he's been nothing but caring and supportive. He's offered to hang out with me after school so I have someone to talk to. (He hints that it could possibly be a date.) His friends tease us everyday about us being a good couple (which is honestly true; we are pretty compatible, which he knows as well). When he's with friends and they see me, they nudge him and grin and point at me, and I can't help but wave and smile back. During the past couple of days he's been sitting with me, instead of sitting across from me, he sits right next to me, and as the time passes, he's clearly a lot closer to me than before, and he rubs his leg against mine at times; I have a feeling he's slowly getting more confident around me. He's never talked to me about other girls, and when we're together I don't think he's ever interestingly glanced at another girl. The only girl his friends talk about with him is me (that I know of). One of the most obvious signs that he probably likes me is that he's told me straight-out that he likes me and that he's wanted to ask me out. I'm just afraid that he's just being nice (I'm wary about relationships; I really want to be with him, but I just want to make sure he's being serious about what he's saying). I've also been in bad relationships (verbally and emotionally abusive, manipulative), so I'm not trying to sound shallow, I'm just being more careful so that I don't have the same problems in future relationships. So, do you think he really likes me? I want to just tell him how I feel so that I can let this off my chest. He's shy and most likely has never been very romantically involved with a girl before (judging by his actions and what his best friends have told me), so I think that letting him know I'm interested in him will make things easier.
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female
reader, InCharliesShoes  +, writes (10 December 2013):
just by reading the first paragraph you have written it is obvious that he likes you!If he is stopping what he is doing to pay attention to you instead shows this and when you said he looks deep into your eyes and touches your shoulder, you're showing him that he's attracted your attention.When he does things like jokes and silly things like taking belongings of yours thats because he is trying to catch your attention, he wants you to be focused on him, and only him! Or he's making an excuse for you to talk to him, to start a conversation.When he knows you've glanced at him and he smiles and looks and like before blushes, it's almost as if he is trying to let you know that he likes you by acting this way. But he's also testing you, this is to see whether you hold his gaze too so he can make a judgment on whether you like him or not.And him actually telling you if he is shy like you have said was a big step for him, if you want to make a move i would highly advise it just by asking him on a date or to hang out sometime. Or if you would rather him ask you then drop subtle hints or tell him you like him too!Goodluck, all the best!- Charlie
A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (30 November 2013):
 Let me ask you this: what would it take for you to walk up to a guy you really liked and tell him how you felt, knowing full well he might reject you? You'd have to be pretty serious about him to do that, right?
It does, absolutely, sound like he likes you. To me the fact that he came out and TOLD you how much he likes you is the biggest clue here. It's something that would be weird and probably embarrassing for him to say if he didn't actually mean it, and it's hard to see what his motives would be for making something like that up. In your shoes I would absolutely tell him how you feel.
There is one other part of your post that I wish to address. You mention depression and self-harm as ongoing problems in your life. I would strongly suggest that you speak in person to a trusted adult about this if you have not done so already. Your school nurse or counselor would be a great choice as (s)he likely has years of experience with helping students through their troubles.
I'm guessing you're probably reading this and thinking "But I can't do that!" You see, that's what I would have said once. Like you I once struggled with depression as a teenager and like you I used to self-harm. I can tell you now, as an adult, that it is one of the few regrets in my life, and that I wish I had reached out for help instead of keeping it to myself. I eventually became a much healthier and happier person, but the transition could have happened much more quickly if I hadn't insisted on doing it alone. Just something to think about.
Good luck and best wishes :)
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