A
female
age
41-50,
*ardia
writes:It's been one year since our first date. He has been faithful to me, but I've often wondered if we were a relationship of convenience for loneliness and companionship. I haven't felt that I was his precious girlfriend consistently. I'm afraid I may just have been reading him wrong this whole time and now that I've brought all this up to him he says he's "not sure what I'm doing", with work, school and us. Last week he wanted to spend a lot of time with me this upcoming week because his work schedule was a little different (better hours). This morning (Monday) he said "See you Saturday". He says I spend too much time in my head and that bothers him, but I'm afraid to say what's in my head because I don't want to pressure him in any way. He's always been open to talking. Please tell me I haven't completely blown this relationship. I'm so scared about it that I'm sick to my stomach. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, bardia +, writes (27 September 2011):
bardia is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you so much for your encouragement. It's as though you're in my head. We have had a good dialogue during the last two days. He's always good about listening to my fears and concerns. I don't know why I doubt him. I do need to focus more on the positives. We'll see what happens.
A
female
reader, Claraw1  +, writes (27 September 2011):
 It sounds like you tend to overthink things and tend to get carried away with any doubts that may come into your mind. I know that I have a tendency to be the same way, and it is hard not to do this. I have found in my relationship that once I sat down and talked to my boyfriend about my doubts and fears. Now I talk to him about however I am feeling and I find that I am not getting so worked up about it and not getting so carried away about it. I also have written down in a book all the things that has said and done to show me how much he loves me and whenever my insecurities are getting the better of me, I read them and remind myself that I am the person he wants to be with. It isn't always easy but it is very rewarding, I am sure that if you talk to him and tell him how you are feeling, you will find that you haven't blown the relationship at all. Just try to talk to him honestly and openly about your feelings and concerns, he won't know if you don't tell him. Since I have taken to telling him everything, my boyfriend is even more in love with me now.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 September 2011):
 At the end of the day it is always best to say what is on your mind. Communication is a key point in any relationship. Therefore it is healthy to talk about how you are feeling. I guess he feels like you over analyse everything. Which it does sound to me like you do over think things and worry to much. Am sure something like this is not going to end your relationship. You just need to start thinking more positive and looking at the good aspects of the relationship instead of focusing on the bad and over thinking them.
...............................
|
