A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I am currently going through depression and anxiety. I have grown up with a crappy view on relationships and men (sorry guys). I have this amazing boyfriend. He is so great but I have all these fears of love fading and pretty much any fear a person could have when regarding relationships. I have a lot of random crazy thoughts and I'm so scared that my irrational thinking and situation at the time is seriously going to screw everything up. I have unwanted thoughts many that involve my boyfriend, such as I don't love him or I find myself judging him at times but I totally love him. I am so scared I don't want to lose him to my stupid, negative, manipulated thoughts... Ii am going to counseling and I am on medication but it's kinda a slow process. I don't want to let my crazy thought indoctrinate me into thinking I don't love him... how do I prevent this!!! help Reply to this Question
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (23 February 2009):
 What meds are you on, and what is the diagnosis for your medication?
Phobias are normal, it's also normal for your brain to protect you from getting hurt. It sounds like you've been hurt, so it's hard for you to extend trust or open yourself up to another person, where the possibility of being hurt is there. You need to remember, and keep telling yourself that he is NOT the one who hurt you, so you're doing yourself and him and disservice associating your past pain with this person who hasn't caused you any.
Let your boyfriend know you're afraid and you don't want to be, but to bare with you during this process. It can be difficult to regain trust, but even more so when your partner doesn't know what your trying to do. That way he'll know when your judging, it's not necessarily that he's doing something wrong.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2009): I think your on the right track by going to counselling and your already on meds. Meds do take about 6 weeks to start working. Having been raised in a dysfuntional family myself I understand you struggling with the relationship. Once you give the meds and therapy a chance you will be better able to see what you really want, just give it sometime and then decide. I have to commend you for seeking outside help.
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