A
female
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anonymous
writes:Hello Before i start i want to just say this is a long one so please read carefully.Ok so here goes me and my partner met in august 2006 and in december 2006 we split because my bf was so controlling he didnt like me talking to other guys and when he found out i went to lunch with a mate id known so much longer than him he flipped and ended it, then in january 2007 i was abused by my uncle and it went to the police and they dropped case (long story) anyways i went away for a week and even though we were together had loads of texts and phone calls asking where i was what i was doing etc etc, i got back and i would see him every other day as i was helping him look after his very ill dad (my partner n his brother worked so i stepped in) 31st of january his dad died i stayed over that night to make sure the boys were ok but the next day he asked me for his birthday present early and told me to F*** off.He got kicked out of the house by the housing association then him and his brother moved into a 3 bed house 30 miles away from where we are.Then he called me up again and asked me to go visit him (as a friend) but when i got there he wanted sex so i did it with him then i went to sleep but at 1am i woke up as he threw the phone in my face and said whos lib (an old school mate) so i told him and he got stroppy with me again, in the end of july we got back together then in august i fell pregnant with our daughter (whom i love dearly) and he told me i had to have an abortion straight out there was no other optionbut i kept her anyways.So we have had alot more housing troubles since then and a few of my family members have died and good friends have died in these few years so alot of stress, plus my doaughter nearly died threw giving birth as was a very complicated delivery.But now hes lying about all sorts (all throughout the relationship he's talked to his ex's asking them to send him naked pics meeting them etc, he also slept with someone in the couple of months we were apart even tho he sitll slept with me). he takes my money and send online girls presents etc.What should i do?What is best for my daughter?Can somebody please help me because i have severe depression and i cant handle it anymore :( :( :(Please help me
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abortion, got back together, his ex, money, moved in, nude pictures, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2009): Don't be scared! You can do it! Try to keep a positive attitude and be strong for you daughter! By leaving this asshole, you are providing a better life for her!
Instead of telling yourself you don't think you can do it, tell yourself YOU CAN DO IT! And you will!
Good Luck
Britt
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you i have arranged for him to move in with his brother from tomoro morning, he invited his friend over to be nasty to me tonight as well so that was fun (not).
i love him i know i do but i actually believe i HATE him more.
he shouts at my daughter to stop crying etc, i dont think i could look after her alone, when she even has a tiny bump i cry so im scared.
please help me i am so so so so scared
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2009): That is a very very sad story and I feel awful that someone could even do that to the mother of there child. You should LEAVE!!! That is what is best for you and your daughter, get away from him and never ever think of coming back. He is clearly a prick and nobody deserves that kind of treatment so just leave, and soon. If you have known him since 2006 and he has always been like this he is never going to change and you will never have a happy life with him. LEAVE!!! Think about when your daughter is old enought to understand that her dad is an abusive asshole to her mom, that is going to disturb and scare her deeply, get out now! Good Luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2009): The previous answers are excellent! I am in total agreement with them. I especially like what baby duck quoted...before you can be a doormat, you have to lay down!
I wish someone had told me that 17 years ago!
I know all too well what it is like to be in an abusive relationship. I was in a physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive one for 16 years.
I thought of myself as weak also...but now...I know I was strong! I was strong enough to walk away (finally)
I was strong enough to stay away! and I was strong enough to endure the abuse while it was happening! I am still recovering from it all...and I know that it will take a lifetime to heal.
You have a child to think of (we didn't)
I would suggest you put yourself and your daughter first! Get away from him ASAP. It will never change except for the worst! His behavior is extremely damaging to your child! It will become a part of her as she matures! She will grow up thinking that it is the norm to be treated like garbage, because she is a woman...and that's what we deserve!
It's all lies! We do not deserve to be treated like that! And your poor little innocent daughter does not deserve to be treated that way!
I wish you luck and hope with all my heart that you will heed the warnings and the advice you have been given!
I pray you have the strength (which I know you do!) to walk away and save yourself from a life of misery!
Feel free to contact me privately if you wish to continue this dialogue!
Britt
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A
female
reader, KateLvsS.V.S  +, writes (3 May 2009):
 If i was you..i would leave him and dont bother coming back to him!..Dont let him take advantage of you!
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female
reader, jezi +, writes (3 May 2009):
Hi hun,I am sorry to hear about all that you have gone through. he seems to be a very obsessive and controlling and with him being like that it is not making you happy and if you are not happy im guessing your little one can sense that ( i know mine can) from what you have said i think that the best thing for your daughter is for you two to stay apart and not be together in anyway....this maybe not what you want to hear but it will be for the best. his and your daughters relationship doesnt have to be affected by you twonot being together. I think deep down you know what to do and what is best for your child. i hope this helps a bit but if you get yourself out of this and his path then im sure you will be having great time meeting up for lunches with your old friends without having to be worried, secretive or scared.
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female
reader, lah mouw  +, writes (3 May 2009):
 You're depressed and he's not treating you right. With that, you should have your answer. You need to leave him have nothing to do wit him. What's best for you right now is needs to be in the best interest of your daughter as well. This isn't a healthy environment for her, and that's what she needs. She also needs a healthy mom! Please don't be with this man. By giving him money you are further enabling his actions. For your daughter and your own good. The best thing to do would be to leave him. The way he treats you is not fair or right.
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female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (3 May 2009):
 Hi Hunny
You no some people take kindness for weakness!!!!And sweetheart you are not weak!!!!!Ive got one thing to say here, You are dealing with a self obsessed man and you WILL NEVER BE HAPPY!!!!
Not only have you had problems in the past that you may never have put to rest. You are dealing with this crap!!!Hunny my advice is get on the phone to the citizans advice and ask for all the help in locating people who can help you GET OUT!!!!!This is not only hurting you and dpressing you, your little girl will notice the affect it has on you..Ive been In a simular situation..The best thing I ever did was move away from the controlling ****!!!!!! You are worth more than this SO MUCH MORE!!!!!!!If you need a chat at any time please message me I'll only be to happy to talk with you TAKE CARE OF YOU AND YOUR LITTLE ONE WITH LOVE AND HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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