A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I got married a few years ago. Since the beginning it was an uphill relationship. I realize now that I was never in love with her, I just had allot of hope that she would change. I thought that I could change her. Deep down inside I know she was not in love with me when we got engaged. I know she said yes because the house was full of people and she did not want to embarass me. Since then I have been involved in a relationship with someone else. She is also married. We both fell in love with each other. What should we do ?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2008): I don't know the culture in Barbados.
I have a few questions to ask you though.
1.Why did you propose to her if you were never in love with her?
2.Is she a monster that you wanted her to change?
3.I never knew people got married to change the other person.What is that you want to change about her.
4.If she said yes so that she wouldn't embarrass you at least she cared for you right?
It takes a smart man to take that "care" and develop it into something more.You didn't.you are giving excuses that sound like pure bull to me.Those excuses are given to justify your affair.
If you weren't happy with your wife,you should have broken off things with her.You spoilt your family.Now you are hell bent on breaking another home as well.
Two broken homes at the end of the day.Its too late to be asking what should you do?Confess to your partners.Let them find someone worthy of their love.After a few years you may get bored with this married woman who you are having an affair with.
When married people fall in love with each other,its not necessarily love.They may look for sex,attention that they are not getting from their current partners.How much ever you deny it,there is always an underlying fear that,"She cheated on him.Will she cheat on me as well?".No win situation all around.sigh...
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (5 December 2008):
 Shit happens and we all make mistakes. Dont sell yourself down the river if you truley think you have now met Ms right. You certainly wont get any medals for it remember!
C xxxxx
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