A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm 28yrs and my boyfriend of 3 years is 39. We've had our up and downs for over a year since he told me he doesnt want to re-marry, have any more kids or even live together! He says he's found his freedom and enjoys his own company now. Our relationship has been a long distance one and now I've managed to get a job closer he's being supportive and encouraging but still, he wont live with me. He won't even rent a flat he owns to me because he says it would be too wierd and I should stand on my own two feet. Then, when settled, I should look to buy on my own house as an investiment. I question why this is and he says he loves me and thats all that matters. I'm not so much bothered about the marriage and kids bit its more the fact he doesnt wants to live me. Its an insult! He says his committment is not sleeping with anyone other than me. I feel i still dont know him after all this time. Oh! and did i mention he's planned his future. To travel the world and see places (myself not invited). I need seriuos help here. I'm going to crack up if I dont get some sound advice. I thought about disolving the relationship but I love him too much and i believe him when he says it to me. I know this may make him sound like a complete bastard but in all honesty, he's a good guy with a good heart and he believes he's doing the right thing in telling me and being honest. Thanks for your help
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female
reader, katatonik  +, writes (5 December 2008):
 Something is not right in your relationship if you feel that you do not know this guy after three years. I would start there if I were you. Work on communicating with your boyfriend about why it is he doesn't want to get too close to you, to the extent that he is planning trips alone after you have been dating him for years. If he won't discuss this with you, you need to think about finding yourself a new guy, because it seems as if your priorities and his are in different places at the moment. Good luck =]
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