A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok, im totally in love with my boyfriend. the thing is, im torn between wanting to spend the res tof my life with him and thinking im too young to be serious with someone. we got together when i was 16 and hes the only guy ive ever slept with. that's fine, i dont want to sleep with anyone else. but i worry about what im going to miss out on if we stay together for a long time. ill miss out on girls holidays, ill never feel wanted/desired ever again, i want to travel. But i cant bear the thought of my life without him. It kills me to think of him as not my boyfriend. We are inseperable even after so long and ive never met anybody like him in the world. its just worrying me.. whats goin on with my head? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, kittykhaos +, writes (19 August 2009):
 Strike a balance as ginsingmeow said. My sister has been with her b/f nearly 7 years he was her first they live together but they lead very separate lives "em" is out going and drinks and likes to socialise but "lee" is quiet and introverted and doesn't really go out. Your life doesn't have to stop because your in love. What do you think your missing out on. Take it from a girl who has had one to many one night stands drunken parties and crazy days away. One night stands are soul destroying if you are or ever have been in love because they make you feel empty and far from desired. You can do the rest of the things and do nothing wrong. There is nothing to stop you going on girls holidays or traveling there's nothing to stop him travelling with you or with you going with some friends. If you feel your b/f doesn't make you feel desirable then maybe you should speak to him about it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009): Why must you restrict your lifestyle, when you are in an intimate relationship with your lover? Just balance consideration.When I was with my lover, she had her own life and I had mine. I had my own friends and she had hers. She loved dancing and volleyball. I loved cycling and hiking. She traveled to Mexico with her friends and indeed, incited some flirtation with the temporary residences there as I went to lounges and met many different people back home. At the end of the day, we would always call each other, tell each other what we did, who we met and when we saw each other, it was like hot steamy explosive heaven.When my lover's girlfriend was getting married, they went on a three day trip somewhere and had a girl's night out. I'm sure she was hit on by men. The "feeling of desired" was always there. I showered her with my generosity and allowed her to flirt, as she was always considerate enough to give me a wink when I was with her or sit really close to me and gave me a squeeze when another man was hitting on her and she responded back.----You can be with someone and still feel the 'thrill' of new experiences, taking consideration of your partner into heart. A part of becoming mature is knowing what to do, what not to do, when to do it and when not to do it. Alternatively, if you really want to be 'free' from even those little barriers, then you can tell your boyfriend and see how he reacts to it. However, know that there is cause and effect to everything we do in life. If you want one thing, something else will close or open up. If you choose path one, path four may no longer be plausible. That is the fallacy of humanity - always the "what if" factor.
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A
female
reader, jessjess +, writes (18 August 2009):
 And why would you not feel wanted and desired with your boyfriend? If he doesn't make you feel wanted and desired then something is wrong....but maybe you didn't mean it like that.
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A
female
reader, jessjess +, writes (18 August 2009):
Don't worry. I have this same problem. Anyone who is in love has this same problem. I read a poem once with the line, 'falling in love is glamourous hell' and I couldn't agree more. I'm nearly 20 and have been with my boyfriend for a year. We were friends before we got together, get on brilliantly, have so much fun together, and I love him madly. At this time in my life I couldn't imagine ever being with someone else. But you never know what will happen in the future so live for the moment. Try to at least. Sometimes people grow apart, sometimes people realise they are meant for eachother. Sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together. Life is weird. You never know what it will throw at you and you never will know so you may as well just go with the flow so to speak! If you are happy now, enjoy your time together. If you are meant to be with this guy for the rest of your life, you will be. Sure things may not go perfectly...you may break up for a while and then get back together....you may break up and realise that you weren't so right for eachother after all. Or you may never break up. Cheesy as it sounds, you've got to follow your heart. If you find yourself wishing you could experience new things and wanting a bit of space, tell him and take a break. You can still travel with a boyfriend- either with him, or without him. I've just returned from 3 months away from mine. It hurt like hell at times cos I missed him so much- but I had so much to share with him when I got home and we are still going strong! Sometimes time apart is healthy and good. Try and live your own life though- have time for your friends and any hobbies you have. You can be your own people whilst still being crazily in love you know :)
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