A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I work for a "posh" retail store which has a lot of female customers, I've been awarded employee of the month for customer service before and am always friendly to people, I've only been there since last year but already know a lot of people by name and will stop to chat with them. I also take really good care of my appearance and always do my hair and makeup nicely and classily, am not slovenly, etc.TBH I find it a complete pain dealing with some of the catty female customers though, most of our customers are lovely but sometimes they actually seem to take offense to me being nice lol.For example, I was serving a middle aged lady yesterday at the till, she wasn't a regular but I thought I might have seen her before so I was like "Hi, how are you?" etc, was very helpful and chatty and even let her use a coupon we're handing out as a promotion which meant that she got money off her purchases.As she was packing her things a guy she knew came up to her and they started talking, she walked away with him without even saying thank you, no big deal. But then she glanced back at me and said to him, VERY loudly, "Something so funny just happened! That girl just said "Hi, how are you," and I've never even SEEN her before!..." at which point they walked out of talking range. Talking like she owned the store.How do I deal with cattiness like this? Some of my colleagues (also female and young) are a lot grumpier than I am and yet they seem to get less flack.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the helpful replies. I'll mention it to my manager, although she often acknowledges in private that some of our customers can be very rude as well and says that she doesn't always like interacting with them! Unfortunately a few of my colleagues also have this attitude which sometimes leads to them leaving me to deal with all the customers.There are definitely a majority of nice customers and regulars I get on with, even some people who have a reputation for being grouches say I'm good at my job. I enjoy being nice to customers but will adopt more of a "laissez faire" attitude to people whom I know will be trouble. Obviously if someone clearly doesnt want to chat (e.g. not replying) that's fine, I am here to do a job after all. However with this lady in particular it was weird because she actually was very polite and chatty back and then made the incredibly rude remark right in front of me. But she probably has her own issues, and I'm in most of the time so her attempt to make me feel out of place by "never having seen me before" didn't work. Guess I will have to "not give an F" more, you're right!To the anon (?) person who posted, as I wrote in my OP I was processing her shopping at the tills - everyone else including my manager greets people that way, "how may I help" is superfluous when the person obviously wants you to process their things they put down. I definitely won't be "adjusting how I address customers" after so much positive feedback from both my colleagues and a lot of other customers, and she had no intention of "giving any feedback" constructively. She was just being bitchy because she knew she could without me putting her down back. TBH, if someone saying "how are you" leaves someone else "dumbfounded" they need to learn social skills.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (28 November 2017):
 Sweetheart, do you honestly think that silly woman remembered you (or what she had said) a few minutes after she had walked away? Her remark (within earshot of you) was all about HER lack of manners and not about YOUR customer service.
You cannot control what people do or say. Your strength lies in how you choose to react to it. You could have laughed it off but instead you chose to take it to heart. Yes, that was a CHOICE. Perhaps you could learn to CHOOSE to not let silly affected people get under your skin? Keep doing what you are doing, being polite, friendly and helpful, as you are obviously good at that, but stop letting the few rude ill-mannered customers matter more than all the nice ones.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (28 November 2017):
 How do you deal with it?
By not giving a single F!
Seriously. Being polite and nice when working in customer service is a MAJOR skill that VERY few possess these days, so no wonder you make "employee of the month". So it wasn't anything YOU did wrong. This was a woman who gets off on putting other women down to make herself look good. Catty cow.
Saying hi, how are you is nice. Not rude nor inappropriate greeting for someone you don't know. PLEASE don't sweat it. You didn't commit any faux pas. SHE did.
So... forget about it and continue to do you and be you.
The reason you get more "flack" is that the customers who act catty know they can't affect the other girls who the "laissez-faire" attitudes. People who can't treat customer service people with kindness are sad folks (for the most part) being a PAIN in the rear is how they get their kicks. Which is why... you need to not GIVE a single F. Just treat them AS you would like to be treated and forget the pettiness of these people, they are NOT worthy of your concern.
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A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (28 November 2017):
How rude! I will venture the guess that she felt your store was above her socioeconomic level and she needed to hurl an insult so that she would feel elevated or "superior."
Concentrate your thoughts on the nice customers. There will always be a small minority that may be having a bad day and can't control themselves from being rude. Just be silently grateful that you aren't in their sphere of acquaintances and have to deal with them on a regular basis. People like these are generally sour pusses and the reactions they experience from others day to day make them even more sour. They know that you have to be nice and can't insult them back, so they have nothing to lose by taking out their frustrations on you. But their problems are not your problems. If you feel you can talk to your manager or HR person about this, by all means do so. They may have an explanation as to whether you colleagues are getting less flack and, if so, why they seem more immune to it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2017): Instead of saying, Hi, how are you; which is a very familiar way of speaking to someone - and yes some may take that as being to familiar even if you have seen them going about - your approach should be ‘Hi, are you needing assistance or how may I help ‘. I mean your job is to offer services not befriend the customers, of course being friendly does help generate the customer coming back but after all in the scope of things you are just providing a service .I also don’t see what your looks have anything to do with the situation at hand - if that is the best catty comment you can come up with then wait until the real world gets you. She didn’t make a catty comment, to me she dumbfounded that someone she didn’t know spoke to her like they did. She said it loud enough, so that maybe you can take some feedback and adjust how you address customers.
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