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female
age
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anonymous
writes:hi, so im having a hard time in know what to do in my relationship.. I met this guy on a credible website that he had been on for a few years before i ever joined. lets just say it was a military website...three years later we had taken our relationship farther and had planned multiple times to meet. we had never skyped, he had seen me on webcam, but never him on one.. i always thought that was kind of weird but tried not letting it affect how everything was. I am in love with this man even though we have never physically met. On the website we met on he had been talking to other members, getting to know them and what not. Last night he confronted he was 3 years younger than what everyone has ever thought and that he has never been in the Military..that wouldn't be that big of a deal but my family knows about him and i don't dare tell them because i still want to protect him in their eyes incase anything every happens..i am also 19 and he was ten years older, but now i guess is 7 years older..what do i do?? please help me..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2011): it wasn't a dating site...was a normal army website..
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIm the OP to this, and sorry this is a very confusing situation. But the website wasn't a 'military dating site' it was just a site, i had a BF at the time who was in the Army, so i joined up for support and what not.. we met and just casually started talking..nothing wrong with that..then it became more frequent..and after his last 'deployment' is when it became more than just 'chatting' online..he is also from the UK, so the time difference was a little tough to actually do talk. I also can tell he feels bad, he isn't trying to get me to talk more, we havn't spoken in about 24 hours..so its not him that is trying to speak atm..and for some reason, i feel like this isn't the truth and that before was..everything added up then NOW it feels like there are so many holes..on the site(which i am still apart of) i was looking back and he knows way to much info to not ever have been military..i mean if he isn't who he says he is..he has fooled so many servicemen/women..to the point of WOW....there are people on there that had been in the military and no their stuff...but IDK we will see..thank you by the way.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (8 December 2011):
 You are having a “relationship”? With who? Do you KNOW this man? I think not. You met him when you were 16 and he was 23… the fact that you thought he was 26 is even worse. To be honest sweetie NO 26 yr old man in the military is going to have a lot in common with a 16 yr old girl.NO skype? NO PHONE? WHAT contact do you have with this person???? HE’s seen you but you have not seen him? How did THAT happen? IF YOU thought it was weird… if you got a bad vibe.. there was a reason for that….WHAT are you in love with… you say you are in love with this man…. WHAT about this PERSON (because for all you know it’s a 45 year old schizo woman playing a game) are you in love with?WHAT are you PROTECTING? A person who lied to you FOR THREE YEARS? What do you do?You tell him/her/it “I’m sorry but I don’t know you…. I can’t trust you I need you to leave me alone”And you block this person. They will escalate and try to continue their little game…. You must be strong. YOU have wasted the best part of your teen years playing a make believe game with a make believe person….
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 December 2011):
 Honestly, I would SERIOUSLY reconsider this. He has been on that website claiming to be military (sorry, as a military wife that REALLY offends me) - he had lied about his age and he is busy "getting" to know other members too.What DO you really know about him? What else did he lie about? How can you even think you are in love? He is obviously NOT the man you thought/think he is. He is in fact a figment of his own imagination.Why can't he Skype so you can at least see him face to face? A web cam is what $20 for a cheap one, who wouldn't pony that up so the other person can see them?I understand that you don't want to tell your family that he is a total fraud, but the only one you are hurting is you. He is filling your head with lies and in turn making YOU a liar.I'd be saying:" sorry, this is over, stop contacting me". I simply couldn't "date" a guy I can't trust any further then I can throw him.
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female
reader, thinkb4  +, writes (8 December 2011):
He has lied to you from the very start. Why are you having to resort to dating sites? You should be out enjoying your life. He could be absolutely anybody.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2011): There are huge red flags everywhere here..he's lied to you from the off and the fact he has been on a military dating site for years means he's probably done the same to other girls.
You have never even seen him either on or off line so he could actually be 50 and weigh 40 stone for all you know.
Please re-consider continuing to chat to him and get out and about so you can meet lads your own age who live locally.
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