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Dating for a year, but find her less attractive?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 June 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 25 June 2009)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, *inkydude writes:

Dear People

I've been dating a woman for 1 year. I love her very much, and I find her extremely attractive. But recently I feel less sexually motivated and

I can't determine why. Its like, I don't feel like it, or when we do it, I feel like I'm in space. So detached. I'm tired, and have lots on my mind. could that be one of the reasons. Is there anything I could do to increase my desire. I know its still there, because I can still get an erection.

I also used to fantasize about her alot, and now, not as much... I'm guessing all this normal. But I feel like our sex life is suffering from it.

Any ideas?

Thanks friends!

View related questions: erection, her ex, sex life

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A male reader, kinkydude United Kingdom +, writes (25 June 2009):

kinkydude is verified as being by the original poster of the question

wow! you all are sooooo far off the mark that its scary. I appreciate your kindness in trying to help me. But, no, its not purely sexual, she is a professor of philosophy and I'm a symphony musician- and amateur philosopher- we talk for hours, intellectually we're perfect. and yes my name is kinkydude, but I assure you that a title is just a title. It was never just pure lust.

Secondly, I have not fallen out of love with her. i care and love her deeply. and we enjoy being together.

the problem may also be that I've been taking propecia, and also I suffer from a

disease called ulcerative colitis, which can vastly effect my mood.

So there are a number of problems that cause my lack of desire. I appreciate that last answer most.

anyway, thanks to all.

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A female reader, laura585 United States +, writes (25 June 2009):

Do you fantasise about other women? Is it her in particular that makes you less sexually motivated, or is it just in general? Does she seem less motivated too? Anyway maybe trying new things will get you motivated! Porn, toys, role-play, etc... Maybe its just getting a little bland and needs some spice?

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A female reader, alishamarie08 United States +, writes (25 June 2009):

What about a reconnecting for the weekend with a sex/romantic vacation! No TV or cell phones! Reconnect with each other do a dinner and talk and really relax and de stress! Just an option!!! Hope it helps!

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