A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Can someone advise me about dating etiquette and so on? I have been on three "dates" with a man that I really like but I am not sure if this is just the normal way that things go as I have not dated for a long time. We are colleagues, and each time it has been he that has suggested that we meet on the pretext of discussing something to do with my work project, which he has more experience of than me. Each time, the actual "work" part has taken between 30 seconds to 30 minutes to discuss and could easily have been done by email for example. The first time, he asked to meet outside of work so we met in a pub and he then suggested we have dinner as well, which was lovely. He ended that night with a peck on the cheek (I was really surprised but loved this as I'd had a great evening). The second time, we met in a cafe in the afternoon and then he asked me to take a look at these things that he makes for his hobby, so we went to his workshop and chatted and he was so pleased with what I said that, without telling me, he subsequently recommended me for a paid consultation with a colleague at a university, which will really boost my career. After this chat, he walked me to the bus,momentarily put his arm around me to "protect" me from traffic (there wasn't any!), waited for the bus to come and then kissed me again, once, on the cheek and gave me a "look". I was thrilled again. The third time we met it was late afternoon in a cafe,we had coffee and chatted for hours, then he suggested a walk, so we did, then he suggested a visit to a bookshop, so we did and this was especially lovely - he asked loads about my childhood and so on, then when we came out he said did I have time for a drink but I was actually faint with hunger, so I suggested dinner, so we walked to this quiet, nice but not overly romantic place that I know. On this third "date" I really enjoyed being with him but I had been really badly ill in the run up, for about three weeks, so I was feeling a bit below par and not "excited" in the way I was on the first two dates, just really enjoying being with him. We still had a lovely time, he walked me to the train station (in the opposite direction from his home) and then... kissed me on both cheeks. Is it just me worrying or is a kiss on both cheeks more formal than a kiss on one cheek? Am I over-analysing? Do you think I maybe sent out "not interested" vibes because I was still feeling a bit unwell? I'm not sure what to do. He has said he will expect to see me in the next couple of weeks but he'll wait to hear from me (he knows that I am really, really busy for a while) - again, on the pretext of discussing a work related issue. Is this guy interested in more than friendship? He is ultra considerate, and very well mannered so it is really difficult to tell - he did things on the last "date" like suggested sharing/tasting each others' food and the first two times I felt definite chemistry but this time I was not so sure... but we both had work the next day as well...
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 January 2011):
 It sounds to me like yes he really is interested in you. Without a doubt i would say that he has great time for you and really wants to spend time with you so thats all good.
Now if you were feeling a little unwell it may have come across like you were not interested, and he has pretty much said to you that he will wait until you contact him as he knows you are busy.
Therefore the next time you are free call him and ask him would he like to meet up for a drink or for dinner, he has asked you the last few times so you do your bit and ask him it will show him you are interested and give him a bit more confidence. So ring him the next evening you are free and enjoy :-). Goodluck.
A
male
reader, Kilcardy  +, writes (16 January 2011):
Ummm...yeah...he's interested in more than friendship. If he weren't interested there would be no kiss on either cheek. Call him and tell him you'd like to see him...like a real date...with no pretext necessary. You've got nothing to lose. Just be careful with the work thing. That's always a potential complication. But, you two seem to have a nice time together. Just go with the flow and see how things develop. Good luck.
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