A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:So I recently started dating a escort who I had seen a few times. We really hit it off well and I knew after the first visit it would be hard not to fall for her, come to find out she wad feelings for metoo just not quite as strong at the time. We didnt see each other for a long period and then we connected again and since then its been getting deeper and deeper, to the point I told her I was falling in love with her. I told her this after a long time thinking if I wanted to say it or not. I came to the conclusion that "fuck it" she doesnt have to love me back it doesnt change how I feel. Much to my surprise after sharing this, her response was I love you too. No way! Im thinking wait, youve got to be talking about love as in I love my friends not Love as in Im in love with you. Sure enough she confirms it was the ladder. Prior to this relationship as a client I never thought I would ever fall for an escort. I knew I was open minded enough to date a former sex worker but one who is still active, never. We discussed all that would come with it and there wasnt much that we discussed that I didnt think of already, so I thought.I can get by the seeing of the clients, we talked and have developed boundaries in which there are acts she will not do with clients to honor my request. However some of these clients she has seen for a longer period then Ive knpown her and I cant imagine its a very easy or comfortable position to be in when you out of the blue stop perfomring certain acts that they might be accustomed to. She hates when she can see Im hurting inside and it makes her hurt, I dont want this for either of us. She does have a "end goal" in mind and I thank her for that often because without it I dont think I could endure the hurt for a lifetime. I know Ive been told it gets easier but does it or do you start to lose that emotional connection and start resenting her or even worse get jealous of her and what she does. It just seems that its unnatural to accept it and support it. I obviously accepted it and I am supportive of her, I dont like that she does it and she knows that but I dont let it get in the way of being supportive. Sometimes its super hard to be supportive when you hear things that you would rather not know and try and stay emotionally bias. I love this woman more than anything and I am confident of her love for me. It is that love that keeps me enduring through some suffering and painful moments. I know these moments are not intentional and that she wishes there were another means to reach her financial goals but there is not and I get that completely. I would appreciate any feedback anyone has that might have been in a similar situation or know of someone in one and can share some of the ups and downs like what worked for you what didnt work. How did you manage triggers etc etc. Antthing would be great even if you think its irrelevant its not. Thank you in advance
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2020): What I find interesting about guys like you is that you see everything from your point of view, it is all about how happy she can make you, and how great your life would be if she does what you want, but she has no reason to oblige - over look that. How can you make her happy? You are older than her and just a naive customer. It does not occur to you that if she wanted a relationship she would pick someone younger than her, or she might prefer men who are taller or shorter or a bit chubby or dress in a certain way or talk in a certain way etc. You assume that because you fancy her she has to fancy you too! How convenient. Then you believe that your paid sessions will somehow end up better and not costing a penny. Really? Why would she be that generous with her favours and time? She already has plenty of those who have come and gone never to be thought of again. She would not fancy or love such a man. The sort of man she would fall for would never need to pay for sex or ask strangers for advice. A woman like her would want a smart and capable man, not a man who needs to rely on other people all of the time. Someone she can see as an equal, and who she can go to for help, not where she is always helping them. You expect her to turn away and lose customers for you when you are just a customer yourself. What makes you more special than the other customers? Unless you pay her more than they do why would she care about you at all, let alone do anything you ask such as withholding special favours from the others!Can you imagine if you go into McDonalds and buy your favourite burger - a big mac, and you say to the girl behind the desk that from now on you and only you can buy such a burger there and if other people come in to buy one she must refuse them. She would not be able to stop laughing.Is this how you run your own business? You oblige one customer a lot and let down all the others? You would soon be bankrupt and starving if you did.She tells you what you want to hear, she lies to you, same as she does to the others. If you were smart enough for her you would have worked that out ages ago.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2020): This woman could tell you the earth is flat and the moon is green and covered in ants and you would believe her.
She is a paid professional, no more than that. You are getting carried away with an unrealistic dream.
I could fantasise that my gardener is so besotted with me that he comes over to weed, prune the roses and mow the law without charging me. Same thing. Why would anyone work for you for free because you say you love them? That would be the same as her paying you to be with with you when there are plenty of other men she could have been with instead who would have paid her. If you are in love with her you should be giving to her, not her losing out on wages and giving to you.
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (17 September 2020):
 You have been to see this escort a few times, and you are both declaring your love for each other.
I assume you have only been seeing her in her place of work, paying her a substantial amount of money for whatever she performed, them shortly after that the L bomb is being thrown around. I'm sorry op, this is ridiculous.
Would you tell a check out girl at the local supermarket you loved her as she was scanning your groceries?. No that would just be daft.
She is a sex worked, saying she won't do certain things to clients she has had for many years to honor your request. OP, once that door closes, and she is with her client, do you really believe that she is going to adhere to this. Of course she isen't. But you would never know either way.
No i would not be happy with any of it, but that's just me. I could not handle another guy's hands all over someone i love.
But this is not love is it OP.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2020): You are a prime-target and a sucker for a scam. She feels nothing for you, but your wallet is extremely attractive.
I think your post is phony; and just written for shock-value. Nobody could be so naive and over 40 at the same-time! DC gets trolls and rascals from time to time. I'll humor you!
Escorts are supposed to make a john feel attractive, and stroke his ego...aside from other things. He could be a humpback with horns, and she (or he) will make the client feel special. You'd be a terrible sex-worker if you didn't!
You don't need advice from us. You're paying for your sex. Just make sure you get your money's worth.
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A
female
reader, AnnaGreen +, writes (16 September 2020):
 I think you posted here recently saying very much the same thing. You contradict yourself a lot. On the one hand you say you are sure of her love and how wonderful it is, then you bring in negatives and doubts, it cannot be both.
Has it occurred to you that when she tells you she loves you she is just saying that to string you along so that you carry on panting for her and helping her with money? And she does the same with other men too?
Has it occurred to you that she promises you she will stop doing this and that with mere mortals who are paying clients and then ignores those promises and goes and does those things with them anyway - because believe me if her clients ask her to do something and she says no she loses a client, they are not going to pay her a lot of money and then have lots of boring restrictions. The move on to someone who is eager to please.
You do not really know this woman, you only know her as a prostitute. You do not love her, you are infatuated with her. You have to know someone inside and out before it is true love, and you have to understand them. Yet you talk about her as if she is almost a stranger to you.
You ask strangers to explain her to you.
Why would she stop working? Unless she is planning to stop when she is too old to be a prostitute and lining you up to take care of her then, when her customers have lost interest because she is past it, what can you offer her?
Do you have a fantastic job and lots of money?
No.
She has nothing to gain by giving up her job for you, but much to lose.
You are getting carried away by a fantasy. And all of it is to your benefit not hers.
And please stop kidding yourself she is an escort! An escort spends time with men who pay but there is no sex or touching. This lady is not classy enough to be able to get men to pay her just to be with them without sex being the only or main thing.
Either she is playing you and stringing you along - which deep down you suspect, which is why you keep writing to us - or she is naive, same as you are, and means these things but will change her mind later when the truth sinks in.
It is very unusual for a prostitute to fall in love with any one at all, let alone a customer. And the customer would have to be something very special and very confident, richer than the rest and better than the rest for it to even begin let alone last.
Her main objective is to keep customers happy so they return and spend money on her. Not to please you but to please herself and give her security. She knows she cannot do that work forever so she may well tell fifty different customers she loves them and needs them to be patient and hope they "help her out" with money so that she can retire and be with them. She has nothing to lose by that. But to give up her job and spend lots of time with you as a couple, there is nothing at all in that for her and much to lose by it.
You need to start looking at this from her point of view.
You look at it all as if she is just there to benefit you and has no needs or wants of her own. She will have heard all of this I love you stuff from other customers and know how to play it each time it happens.
You are better off paying her so much a meet for sex and leaving it at that. It is more honest and you will not get hurt that way.
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