A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and i have been going out for about 2 months now and i thought i loved her but im starting to have second thoughts. I started to lose the feelings i thought i had for her. I tryed fixing it by changing some things like spending more or less time together and doing other things. I started to like her more as a friend like around the third week. I promised her i wouldnt hurt her the first day we went out. When im with her i say things like "i love you" because i dont want to hurt her. I really care about her and i dont want to hurt her. She broke up with her other boyfriend to go out with me :(
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female
reader, trueheartconfused +, writes (3 May 2007):
This is tough.I understand what you are saying , it is not right for you to say "I love you " if you don't mean it. But on the other hand you don't just tell her in her face "I don't love you anymore " , she would be devastated. There are two possibilities that you feel this way: First one is you didn't actually fell out of love with her ,every word you said here tells me you love her , care about her , but the infatuation , excitement you felt in the beginning of the relationship no longer exist since you are used to each other , this made you think you don't love her any more .Or , the other possibility is that what you felt in the beginning was just physical attaction , it was not love , attactions fade away but real love will not. Not only after 2 months.You need to know which one it is and decide what to do , I also agree you take a break from you two , go away for 1 week, a month without contacting her, if you feel you can't stop thinking about her and you miss her terribally , your feeling for her could be real and it is more than just a friend . But if you feel relatively ok , not miss her much , even feel relieved, better end this soon without hurting her even more. How do you end this ?I put myself in your girlfriend's position , how would I want this to end . I would want you to continue to be the best friend/soul mate that you can be, be always supportive and caring just like now. If you really don't want to hurt her, don't sleep with her any more , women connect sex with love , we don't separate sex and love as easily as men do , by sleeping with her , you will hurt her even more.Part of me still want to see you together for some reason.She broke up with her ex because of you , I know when a woman does that , it means she really loves you.Good luck.
A
female
reader, agony_emz  +, writes (3 May 2007):
 hi!!
you really shouldn't use the word's "i love you" unless you mean them!! she will get really hurt and feel betrayed! it's easy to say but as easy to hurt someone aswell! i think you need to tell her that you have had time to think it over and that friends is the only thing you want to be with her either way she will hurt but the sooner you do this the less it will hurt her!!
good luck x
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