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Crushing on a guy I've never even met outside of Facebook!

Tagged as: Crushes, Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 May 2014) 2 Answers - (Newest, 8 May 2014)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I'm in a weird and kind of silly situation and don't know what to do.

I find myself crushing on my guy friend's best friend. And I haven't even met him in person. My guy friend talks about him a lot (because he's his best friend obviously) and I have him added on Facebook. I've began to notice all the stuff we have in common, music artists, games, sense of humor, etc. He even knows about the stuff I like that I thought no one else even knew about. And he likes just about every single thing I post, comments on a lot of my posts saying nice things like "Cute!", "Cool!", "Me too!", etc. and he sometimes "pokes" me on Facebook and we have this stupid "poke war" for a day or two.

I'd really like to talk to him but I'd rather him talk to me first because I'm nervous lol...He has pretty "geeky" interests and he is overweight (but none of that bothers me), I think he doesn't really have experience with girls. So I doubt he would even message me first.

Also, his "about me" thing says he lives in another state. I know he was born in another state. But his best friend (my guy friend) lives in the same state as me, and the guy I like was at Disney World just a month ago (I live in FL) and he also was at an anime convention here in FL a while after that so I'm not sure if he lives here or what.

How can I get him to talk to me? Is this even worth pursuing or should I forget about it all? I know this all sounds immature and silly but for some reason I am crushing on him, can't stop thinking about him. Thanks :)

View related questions: best friend, crush, facebook, immature, overweight

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A female reader, sugarplum786 South Africa +, writes (8 May 2014):

sugarplum786 agony auntI am with CindyCares, you can reach out to him and see if he takes the bait. Noting ventured nothing gained. Just remember not to create any expectations as its best to see if he is open to first being friends since u guys have not even met.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (8 May 2014):

CindyCares agony aunt Geeky, overweight and inexperienced with girls.. yeah, he needs a gentle push. I think he is already doing his best by poking you and liking your stuff. Come on, help him out- you message him first . It does not need to be anything flirty or seductive, of course, you can just keep it friendly and lighthearted like, hey ! what's up ?, I just noticed that we both like X and Y and Z, curious isn't it ? I just wondered if you also happen to like W ...

In short, you throw him the ball, then see if he wants to play.

I'd check first with your common friend where this guy actually lives,though. ( That's just me, of course- but personally I think that 95% of the times it's not even worth it getting all excited and flustered over someone who's not local, chances are it won't turn into anything ). I don't see why you can't bring it up casually in onversation, - or just ask your friend straight away. It's not like you'd compromise yourself by confessing everlasting love for the geeky guy ! , he's someone you are sort of friendly with , and you are sort of curious about him, that's all. ( At least officially ).

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