A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:HiI have started talking to guy on a social networking site, we have sent direct messages to each other and he has sent me music. The problem is he has a partner and a baby. Have we crossed the line? the whole thing feels rather secretive. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, 1perrito  +, writes (15 March 2009):
 Atleast, he had the intestinal fortitude to be honest with you. He has told you that he is with a woman and they have a baby.
Most guys who want to cheat on their partners will not tell other women that they are with partner and child. If he told you, most like, he still loves them very much.
The first child for a man is a difficult time. His lover's body changed. There is more responsability with the child. He is probably working harder than he has ever worked in his life to make sure that they are OK.
It is a very stressfull time.
If you keep corresponding with him, then keep asking him how his partner and child are doing. That will keep you in check.
Imagine how it would feel if another woman took your man whilst you were pregnant with your man's baby.
Like I said, very difficult time for a man during this time. He is probably filling his time with internet chat until everything goes back to normal.
A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (15 March 2009):
 It's hard to tell with these scenarios when you've crossed the line...It depends how you think his partner would react if she knew, what his reasons are for chatting to you (is he lonely, feeling neglected due to the baby, etc), what kind of things you talk about...IKf you're feeling guilty then maybe you have crossed a line, I guess just put yourself in his partner's shoes, how would you feel if you came across the same conversations you have with him?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2009): If he's been honest and told you about his partner and baby and not mentioned being unhappy then don't worry about it too much. If it's just chatting and music sharing then maybe he is just friendly. But do be careful, as soon as he starts being too flirty or contacts you too often suspend it.
The truth is you really don't know who he is or what he is doing. He may be single with no kids, you don't know so be careful.
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A
female
reader, loveprincess +, writes (15 March 2009):
 its ok to flirt now and again as long as it does not become anything else for the way u r feeling now u 2 should stop otherwise u will cross the line and that could make his relationship fall apart
and u wont want to be the cause of it
but at the end its up to u what u do
gd luck
x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2009): If it feels secretive then you've probably crossed the line. Just address it with him or just stop communicating with him. Social networking site are the new cheating arena for some people.
I read stories about women complaining about their men befriending and confiding in women they meet on networking sites.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, didda123 +, writes (15 March 2009):
 Well i think if you are feeling that way then probably yes you have crossed the line.
It is surprising how you can strike up a good relationship over the internet and it can become quite close and affair like.
You need to think how you would feel if you were in a relationship and your partner was chatting or messaging another woman, i doubt you would be impressed.
Of course the content of the messages needs to be taken into consideration as well but i doubt you would like your partner chatting to others online even if it was just for general chat.
In my opinion he is missing out on something in his life with his partner and baby and has turned to the internet to fill that void and it probably will just take the right person to contact him and strike up a good rapore and he will be involved in a full blown affair.
Just be wary and don't let yourself get too involved or you could end up getting hurt.
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A
female
reader, mimisoph3  +, writes (15 March 2009):
 yea dont flirt or anything wit someone who has a partner and a baby thats crazyyyyyy ur gonna make them break up..and if u do continue just do it in a friendly way..maybe he thinks that u guys sending messages if just in a freandly kinda way..be careful
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