A
female
age
36-40,
*air-N-Lovely
writes:hello,My boyfriend of 3 months has a peculiar fetish that turns him on like nothing else I've tried: he likes it when I smoke. He likes it a little too much (to the point that were I to parade in all my naked glory suggestively, it would still not turn him on if I did not carry a burning cigarette in my hand and blow smoke in his face) When he first made this known to me, I really had no problem with it, as it was something I felt I could give him (at least it wasn't spanking or some body part I couldn't offer much of). After a while, it began to make me feel so unsexy and like dirt compared to the all-mighty cigarette. But you see, that did not concern me much. What does is that, recently I learned that his mother smokes like a chimney.....It terrified me. Does he have some sort of mommy-complex or something???? Please, reply as this is kind of worrying!
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female
reader, Fair-N-Lovely +, writes (30 October 2007):
Fair-N-Lovely is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello,
Thank you for your replies. They have made me really reflect on my current relationship so I cannot thank you enough. I think this one is a keeper. Which is why I really want everything to be perfect but, well, to be honest, I really think I can only get him erect by smoking (or talking of blowing smoke in his face) and to be honest it does make me feel shit- I have my share of fetishes but they all involve parts of his body. I wish it were the same for him because I feel like he doesn’t love my body at all. Anyway, that is a whole other story! I am still worried about him having a mommy complex. If he does, how should I react and what implications should I expect and is this bad news? Should I just back off?
It should be noted that he is an only son and his mother does have a way of spoiling him.
Thanks.
A
female
reader, Seratuki  +, writes (29 October 2007):
 Shania is right...once in a while is one thing...but you need to set up boundaries NOW, because if he thinks he can get it every time you're intamate it's just going to get harder to tell him "look, I'm not really into that right now" because he's going to think "well you had no problem with it before and I like it so..."
As she said...if he can't take the compromise he simply might not be the person for you sweetie...
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A
female
reader, shania +, writes (29 October 2007):
 There's nothing wrong in having a few fetishes,but its only troublesome when he expects it everytime he has sex with you....its not only boring for you but it can become a unhealthy obsession where your boyfriend cannot get a erection unless your puffing away on a fag.Tell him,that you dont mind doing this now and again but not every time you have sex.Say that it can be a treat,once in a while....if he kicks up a fuss then i suggest you get rid of him,because he's only thinking about his own sexual needs and not yours.As for the mother complex,well it could be that but i think he probably likes it because it shows a dominant women,taking charge and blowing smoke into his face,like she doesn't give a hoot about him....and he gets off on that.
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