A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have been loosing interest in my boyfriend for a long time. ive spoken to him about it and tried to do different things but nothing happens. he's letting his appearance go and i no longer find him attractive at all. he hasnt done anything with his life. he works one day a week where he sits around the rest of it doing nothing what so ever.he isnt in school or uni or college.we have nothing in common, i used to just love him and that would be enough but now everything is just becoming routine and boring. im so utterly bored with him. he has nothing new to tell me or when he does its always about music (that i dont like) or his band (which he has been puting all of his dreams into and it isnt working out, which i told him at the time to look into another career incase it didnt work out).iv told him for months and months and he told me hed get round to it and i sound like his mum.he cant stay out by 5pm and never goes out at night with me.he loves me very much i no that tho.but i dnt feel anything like that toward him anymore. ive then been to uni and ive met someone else there who i have common interests and we both like eachother. he nos about my boyfriend and nos im not happy with him. it makes this new guy uncomfortable but he claims he loves me too. ive known him for about a month and met him nearly everyday and most nights. the relationship with this guy would be so much easier but hes such a risk.i dont no how i feel about either. i dnt want to just give up on my old boyfriend and id kick myself forever not noing if it could have worked. but time is pressing up on me. ive been honest with my boyfriend and he nos i like this other guy. he says he will do something and we'll get our flame back but i dnt no. its been so long and i had tried to warn him before i met someone else. i cant put my all into this relationship if i have feelings for someone else. but my bf says i cant take a perminant break to go with this guy or else he'll never take me back. im so afraid. iv been with my boyfriend for 2 years. we were so much in love before all of this i just want it back. but is it possible? ive lost this love for so long as hes been becoming more careless with himself.could it come back? or should i move on with this other guy? i cant just drop my feelings for this other guy tho and i dnt no how to get over him if staying with my boyfriend would make things better. if i stay with my boyfriend im going to be misrible for months until hes sortd himself out.if he sorts himself out, i dnt no if il love him the same then either. the new guy is very risky too. i no i wont get the same love from him as i do my current boyfriend. my current boyfriend loves me to pieces and im satisfied with his love, its me thats the problem.oh what do i do? im so so terrified. i cant find an answer anywhere. i need to make this decision and i dnt no what to do. i dnt trust my own judgement. im so scared. please please help me.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007): I think you should try not to spend so much time with the new guy and spend a little more time with the current one. Tell him if he doesn't shape up then you're through. If you have tried to resolve the issues with him and he won't budge or make any compromises than there is not really much you can do with him. If that is happening this early in the relationship then there is no way you two are going to last.
As for the other guy, just be careful he isn't trying to play you because he thinks you because you are vulnerable.
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